


The Antithesis of Us

by rhymeswithblue



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, F/M, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhymeswithblue/pseuds/rhymeswithblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>But as the girl with the tattoo pockets her winnings and playfully sticks her tongue out at her friends, he could not, for the life of him, figure out why someone would ever bet on a Stiff.</i><br/>--Four is the initiate, Tris is the trainer, Marcus dies, Natalie lives, and the last stand against the Bureau is for a whole different cause. [used to be called Like the Number]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jumping

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this idea came from, but it stuck with me. Basically, all the ages are switched in this story. Tris, Christina, Will, Uriah, etc. are all 18 while Four, Shauna, Lauren, Zeke, etc. are all 16 and new Dauntless initiates. I wanted to explore how different their dynamic would be if the teacher-student roles were reversed. I changed a few details here and there. It still follows the same major plot points as Tris's initiation in Divergent, but with a few major differences, leading to a different end. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. You'll see.

“Tobias Eaton.”

It’s only then, when his name is called and he finds himself in front of the five bowls, that he realizes he’s never made a decision. He used to daydream all the time, pretending he lived in the other factions. Daydreaming is frowned upon in Abnegation, but he allows himself this one indulgence. Over the years, he’s created four different aliases for himself. Four imaginary lives to hide in when life at home became unbearable. But he never once considered which one he preferred most. And, well, his aptitude test results sure didn’t offer any guidance.

In front of him, his father who was administering the ceremony this year stands with a pleading look on his face. His father’s words from last night still resonate in his mind.

 _Please, son. You have to stay in Abnegation with me. You’re the only family I have. Please._ He had been very confused when his father suddenly started acting nice to him about a month ago. No criticism, no reprimanding, and no belts. He was about ready to start believing in God until last night, when their conversation finally revealed his father’s true intentions. This was no miraculous change-of-heart. This was a pathetic attempt to convince him not to leave on the Choosing Ceremony. But one month of kindness was nowhere near enough to compensate for sixteen years of hell. If his father thought he would change his mind on a decision he’s made ever since he was old enough to understand that people can choose their own factions—well, his father was gravely mistaken.

His father slowly hands him the knife. His father’s hands were shaking. His weren’t.

To his right, he could see Jeanine Matthews sitting at the edge of her seat. Her eyes are wide and bright, following his every move like a predator. The Erudite have been spreading rumors and filing reports on the mistreatment of children in Abnegation ever since the Prior children both transferred out of the faction two years back. He doesn’t know if the charges are true or not; he’d like to think that no one else has to endure the torture he’s suffered through. What he _does_ know is if Jeanine Matthews ever got word of what went on behind closed doors at the Eaton home, she just might be able to bring down the entire Abnegation faction.

If anything, that would be the only reason he’d ever stay in Abnegation. Just so he doesn’t feed the flame that could grow into a war. That is the selfless thing to do. Sacrifice his own pain for the sake of keeping peace and order. Never think of himself, just the greater good.

But there are scars across his back and bruises that still won’t fade and he refuses to be docile a second longer. He cuts into his palm in a swift slice.

Mentally removing the Abnegation bowl of stones, he looks at the other four. Four factions. Four escape routes. Four paths to a happier life. Four daydreams that can come true. A life without aggression? A life without secrets? Or…he moves his bleeding hand over the bowl of water and watches his father’s expression turn to horror. A life of revenge?

Then his eyes are drawn to the last bowl, the one of glowing coal and he takes a half-step toward it involuntarily, as if beckoned by a siren song. _Of course._ Just as a droplet of blood had formed and threatened to fall into the Erudite water, he jerks his arm to the left. His blood sizzles against the embers instead.

“…Dauntless.”

His father’s voice is almost inaudible. There are gasps around the room but the sound is drowned out by the cheers from the Dauntless.

He turns and walks towards his new faction, his new home, without looking back.

A life without fear.

/

He almost doesn’t make it off the train.

The gap between the tracks and the rooftop was five feet across and seven stories down. Seeing the pavement below makes his stomach clench.

“What’s wrong, Stiff? Fear of heights?”

He turns around to see an Erudite boy smirking at him. Behind him, a few other chuckles at the jeer.

He simply ignores the remark and backs up to get a running start. It’s going to take a lot more than childish mockery to get to him. He’s developed tougher skin over the years. He had to.

As for the fear of heights, that is a bit harder to overcome. He is the last one left on the train and the end of the rooftop is soon approaching, so he runs, leaps, and lands on his feet with nothing but a small stumble forwards. The thrill is like nothing he’d ever experienced before. The Erudite boy is lying on his back on the ground, having obviously fallen over from the jump. The boy gazes up at him in speechless awe.

He almost doesn’t make it off the train.

But he does.

And when it was time to jump off the ledge, he is the first to go.

/

When he rolls to the edge of the net, a gloved hand reaches out to him. He grabs it and gets roughly yanked right off the net and onto the ground. The Dauntless girl standing in front of him is a good head shorter than him and has thin, muscular arms and a tattoo of three birds peeking out from her tank top. He gives the girl’s unassuming stature a cautious glance, then stretches out his shoulder, sore from when she practically pulled his shoulder out of its socket.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

His eyes adjust to the darkness and he sees a few more Dauntless members standing beside the net. The girl who spoke has short cropped hair and is openly gaping at him, then back at the girl who pulled him down, then back at him.

“A Stiff jumped first. Never thought I’d see that again.”

Behind the two girls, three others join in on noting their surprise. But the girl with the tattoo just stands with an amused grin on her face. She sticks out her hand, palm up, to her friends.

“Pay up.”

The girl with the short hair begrudgingly digs into her pocket and slaps a coin onto her hand. The two other men and the other woman do the same.

A bet, he realizes. They didn’t make bets in Abnegation, since gambling led to greed and glutton. But as the girl with the tattoo pockets her winnings and playfully sticks her tongue out at her friends, he could not, for the life of him, figure out why someone would ever bet on a Stiff.

She turns back to him and places her hand gently on his right arm. Her glove is fingerless so the tips of her fingers are cool against his skin. He’s so tall that she has to crane her neck to speak to him.

“What’s your name?”

“To—”

She arches an eyebrow at his hesitancy, but then she smiles, something like understanding in her eyes.

“You can choose a new name if you want. But make it a good one. You can’t change it again.”

He thinks about his four daydreams and he thinks about his indecision earlier that day between the four factions. In his mind, he sees Amity Tobias, Candor Tobias, Dauntless Tobias, and Erudite Tobias all materialize. Then, the other three versions of himself walk together and merge with Dauntless Tobias.

“My name is Four.”

“Like the number?”

“Yes.”

She shrugs, then turns toward the crowd of Dauntless. She announces his name in a voice much louder than anticipated.

“First jumper—Four!”

/

After every initiate had jumped down (the Erudite boy that teased him earlier came falling down with limbs flailing and screaming like a baby, much to Four’s amusement), the girl with the tattoo and the girl with the short hair who had lost the bet to her earlier stand in front of them. They divide the initiates into Dauntless-born and transfers. The Dauntless-born follow the short-haired girl, who introduces herself as Christina, down one of the stone corridors while the few transfers remain with the girl with the tattoo.

“My name is Tris. I usually work at the tattoo parlor…”

His eyes automatically flicker down to her tattoo again. Three birds in flight, trailing closer and closer to her heart. He wonders what it symbolizes.

“…but I will be your trainer for the next few weeks.”

To his right, that stupid Erudite boy snickers. He didn’t even try to cover it up. Tris marches right up to him. She eliminates the height difference by grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling down hard until they were eye to eye. The smile disappears from his face.

“What’s your name?”

“Eric.”

“Okay, Eric. The first lesson you’re going to learn here in Dauntless is to never question authority, much less belittle them.”

And then, before Eric can react, she grabs his arm and twists in a fluid motion, flipping his whole body in air before he lands painfully on his back. All the other initiates take a small step back. Tris brushes some dirt from her leather pants, then leads the pack down the opposite corridor to give them a tour of the Dauntless compound.

No one stopped to help Eric and Four almost left him too, but some Abnegation impulse still remains and makes him turn back. He offers Eric a hand and pulls his back to his feet.

“By the way, she’s stronger than she looks. Almost dislocated my shoulder earlier.”

“Could’ve warned me sooner, Stiff.”

Four only gives him a sarcastic smile.

/

During dinner that first night, he becomes painfully aware of the fact that he has no idea how to make friends.

Even back home, he had no friends. He often skipped school and his father never allowed him to go to any parties and dinners. He was cut off from even Abnegation society, which is about as low as you can get. Thus, when all the other initiates somehow managed to befriend each other in the few hours that they’ve been here and all formed groups to sit down at the tables, talking animatedly with each other, he has nowhere to sit. The only other initiate he’s even talked to is Eric, but he’d much rather sit just about anywhere else. So, he wanders the aisle between tables. It’s terrifyingly lonely. And awkward. And embarrassing.

“Stop looking like a lost puppy and sit.”

His saving grace comes in the form of Tris forcibly pulling him down into the seat next to her. She really is a whole new type of aggression, isn’t she?

“Well, look who it is, the first jumper Stiff!”

“Taking on a favorite so soon, Tris? You know you’re not supposed to.”

Two other Dauntless are sitting with Tris. He recognizes Christina and one of Tris’s other friends from earlier who Four soon learns to be named Will. The two are quick to poke fun of Tris. She rolls her eyes.

“Oh shut it. And go easy on him, will you? I mean, look, he’s so clueless he doesn’t even know how to eat a hamburger.”

He immediately stops what he’s doing with the circular meat and the buns because he’s evidently doing it wrong.

“In my defense, we don’t eat hamburgers in Abnegation.”

Christina and Will crack up at his words. Tris chuckles too, but helps teach him how to make a hamburger nonetheless.

After dinner, he is shocked when he returns to the dormitory and two girls from Candor approach him with curious grins.

“You were sitting with Tris at dinner today, weren’t you? What did you talk about?”

“Uh, not really anything. Mostly they just made fun of me.”

That caused the girls to laugh and they sat down on the edge of one of beds, motioning for him to sit across from them.

“You know, Tris and Christina are both only two years older than us.”

“Yeah, and I heard that during their initiation, Tris ranked first. _First_. If someone that small and skinny can get first, maybe there’s still hope for us, Lauren!”

He isn’t used to gossiping about someone else. But he’s not in Abnegation anymore—how many reminders does he need before that truth finally sinks in?—and curiosity gets the best of him.

“If Tris was ranked first, she could have chosen any job. Why did she choose to be a tattoo artist?”

Lauren and her friend look at each other and shrug.

“No one knows. Apparently she was offered a leadership position but she turned it down.”

Their conversation continues well into the night. The subject eventually strays away from their mysterious instructor to the other initiates and then themselves. He learns that Lauren and Shauna, the other Candor girl’s name, had been friends since they were ten and both kept getting in trouble in school and within the faction, so they made a pact to leave Candor together. He tells them that life wasn’t the same after his mother and sister died, so he wanted to leave his old life behind. It’s as close to the truth as it’s ever going to get.

Perhaps Tris really was his saving grace, in that she gave him something to talk about with the other initiates and finally make friends.

Tris. He goes to sleep that night with her on his mind. Who is Tris? Who is this strange Dauntless soldier who gave up a leadership position to work in the tattoo shop, who’s willing to bet on a Stiff, and who looks at him with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen?

/

His first shot completely misses the target and he doesn’t even know where the bullet went.

His second shot just barely grazes the bottom corner.

His third shot hits the outer circle.

His fourth shot hits right at the center of the target.

Every shot after that is spot-on in the center of the target. Only when he’s out of bullets does he realize everyone else has stopped firing. In fact, they’ve all stopped to stare at him. Even Tris stands there with a suspicious look on her face. He smiles nervously.

“What? This is fun.”

The others return to shooting. Eric glares at him, Lauren and Shauna give him two thumbs up, but Tris still has the suspicious look on her face. Her expression makes him uneasy. Is he not supposed to so good at this? Does it have to do with him being a Divergent? He thinks back to the aptitude test and remembers the horrified expression on Tori’s face. _You can’t let anyone find out. Anyone._

In a lame attempt to cover up his skill, he purposely misses the target once every few shots. One of them even goes so far to hit Lauren’s target instead. They share a laugh at this and he prepares to shoot again when he feels Tris’s presence behind him. She leans down and whispers in his ear:

“You’re not fooling me.”

/

When they learn physical combat, he doesn’t have to work as hard to cover up his skill, mainly because his total body strength is probably less than that of Tris’s pinky. He’s quick to learn all the different attacks and defenses, and he can memorize every other initiate’s strengths and weaknesses, but he lacks the muscle to exert any real force when he fights. Hell, he was practicing with Lauren and even one of her light punches sent him staggering back a step. A life holed up in his Abnegation house has not offered him any opportunity to gain muscle mass. He may be one of the tallest initiates, but he’s also one of the skinniest.

They’re going to be fighting each other, one-on-one, and the results will factor into their final ranking. He watches Eric punch another boy so hard, he falls to the ground and his nose starts to bleed and Tris has to help him up, telling Eric to save it for tomorrow.

Tomorrow. The fights start tomorrow.

Maybe his luck ran out at the shooting range.

/

That night, he accompanies Lauren and Shauna to the stores around the pit. This is the first time he’s ever had leisure time and he has no idea what to do, so he follows Lauren and Shauna. And since his only two friends are girls, naturally, he ends up sitting at one of the clothing stores watching his friends try on various shirts and dresses.

“We should give Four a makeover.”

He perks up at the mention of his name.

“What now?”

And before he knows it, he’s being shoved into the changing room with countless articles of clothing being thrown at him over the door. He tries on slim-fitting pair of black jeans and a black shirt that hugs way too tightly around his chest. When Lauren and Shauna see, they excitedly clap their hands but he can’t help want to cover himself up. Lauren slaps his arms away.

“Stop that. You look good. So much better than those huge baggy clothes you were wearing.”

He looks at himself in the full-length mirror. He barely recognizes himself, and not just because he rarely saw his reflection in Abnegation. This boy in all black staring back at him look confident, much more confident than he actually feels. Still, his lanky arms are too thin and he lacks the defined chest and abs that the male mannequins and every male Dauntless member has. With his friends’ urging, he purchases the clothes, even if it did advertise the fact that he was a wimp. Something to motivate him to work harder then.

Next, Lauren and Shauna decide they want to get tattoos, so he follows them inside the tattoo parlor even though he’s still too much of a Stiff to get one himself. As they peruse the patterns, he wanders toward the back of the shop and notices Tori. When he goes over to her, her face pales as if she’s seen a ghost.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m Dauntless now.”

“ _You?_ You’re the first jumper Stiff?”

She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. He did not realize this was that big of a deal and suddenly his heart rate quickens.

“You made a bad choice coming to Dauntless. You would’ve been safer in Amity or staying in Abnegation.”

“But I don’t understand. What _am_ I?”

Tori shushes him and moves to reorganize some tools. He moves to casually stand beside her and strains to hear her soft words.

“Just stay out of trouble, you hear? And don’t draw any more attention to yourself. Oh, and Tris! She’s your trainer, right?”

He nods. He recalls that Tris usually works here, so she’s probably friends with Tori, but what does that have anything to do with him being a Divergent? Before he can ask, Tori is already ushering him away, back to his friends at the other side of the store.

“Listen to Tris, do exactly as she says, and you might make it out of this alive.”

/

In his first fight, Eric beats the shit out of him.

/

He wakes up in the hospital wing. That’s how atrociously bad he was at hand-to-hand combat.

In his defense, the transfer girl from Amity, Mia, also got sent to the hospital wing after losing her fight. In _her_ defense, after Shauna and Lauren came to visit him, Mia got to leave with them for dinner while he remained in the hospital well into the night.

This isn’t going to work out. He’s due to fight again tomorrow or the day after and this isn’t going to work out.

It’s already lights out in the dorms when he hobbles out of the hospital wing and into the training room. He situates himself in front of one of the punching bags and starts hitting it as hard as he can—which, again, isn’t really saying much. The one upside of getting matched up with Eric today is that at least Four’s hands and arms don’t hurt because he didn’t get the chance to get any good hits in.

He doesn’t hear Tris enter the room until she’s right behind him and he accidentally elbows her in the face in the backswing of his punch.

“Oh, sorry!”

She just shakes her head and shuts her eyes. She looks more annoyed than anything else.

“You know what your problem is, Four? You keep thinking about how you’re not as strong as the others. It’s like you’re _asking_ them to punch you in the face. Just be confident, okay? And maybe use your elbows more.”

“I’m surprised you even noticed my performance since you left halfway through.”

His comment comes out sharper than he intended and she looks taken aback by his words. He always did have a quick mouth. It’s this inner Candor that got him sent to the small closet as a child.

She turns and walks to the door again.

“I couldn’t watch you get hurt like that.”

He doesn’t know if he was meant to hear her comment, but he does.

/

The next day, thankfully, he doesn’t have to fight. He trains a bit more and starts incorporating a routine of push-ups and sit-ups to build muscle. Then he has to watch Shauna get brutally defeated in her fight which hurts almost as much as taking the punches himself.

The whole day, he feels Tris’s eyes staring at him but whenever he turns around, she’s never looking at him, as if pointedly making a show of ignoring him. He never knows when it comes to her. He thinks she’s a bit mad. He thinks _he’s_ a bit mad.

And just when he’s about to drift into much-needed sleep that night, the lights are back on and who but Peter walks into the room, demanding all the initiates to be on the train in fifteen minutes.

Peter is a cruel person and no one seems to like him very much. He’s only two years older than them, just like Tris, but he’s got a position in Dauntless leadership. The rumor is he only got it after Tris turned it down. Needless to say, Tris has a distaste for Peter just as much as all the initiates do, which is comforting, at the very least.

On the train, Peter explains the tradition of the paintball capture-the-flag game. Besides the initiates and the two trainers, a few Dauntless members are also there to partake in the fun tradition. He sees Christina and Will near the back and they smile at him.

“Alright, Tris and I will be team captains.”

Tris’s face could not be more passive. It’s as if she’s grown used to Peter trying to get a rise of her. Peter scans the crowd for his first choice.

“Eric.”

Figures Peter would choose Eric, Four thinks to himself. He despises both of them.

“I’ll take the Stiff.”

Everyone looks at Tris like she’s crazy, himself included. Did she really just pick the skinny Stiff who still has a faint black eye as her first choice?

They continue calling names until the two teams are evenly split. Shauna and Mia are on Tris’s team with him along with Will and one of Tris’s other friends Marlene. Peter got Christina, Lauren, and Uriah, the fifth member of Tris’s gang. As they’re reaching the destination, Christina comes up to Tris with a smirk on her face.

“Seriously, did you _intentionally_ pick the worse team to challenge yourself or because you felt bad for them?”

“I am perfectly confident that my team will win, thank you very much. In fact, you want to bet on it?”

By this point, Will, Uriah, and Marlene have walked over as well. After hearing Tris’s words, Will throws his hands up in defeat while Uriah and Marlene adamantly shake their heads. Christina however holds Tris’s steady gaze.

“You know what…alright. You’re going to rob me of everything I have, Stiff, but alright. It’s a bet.”

(It’s funny, Christina doesn’t take her eyes off Tris when she calls him a Stiff.)

/

There’s a heated debate over which strategy the team should take. Throwing together twenty headstrong Dauntless sure doesn’t lead to any solid teamwork by any means. He tries give his input, but he keeps getting interrupted every time he opens his mouth. Finally, Tris silences the team with a loud _hey!_ and turns directly to him.

“Four, what do you think?”

“Well, we can’t decide on a strategy without first knowing where the other team’s flag is.”

Zeke, Uriah’s little brother who is one of the Dauntless-born initiates, rolls his eyes at Four’s remark.

“And how do you suggest we look for it, _cuatro_?”

A few people snicker but Four only smiles and looks up. He stands slightly apart facing the group, so he is the only one with the Ferris wheel in direct sight.

“We don't have to look for it because I already found it.”

Slowly, they all turn around and peer up at the giant wheel. There, at the very top, Peter’s team’s flag glows, draped halfway through a broken window of a car.

Will lets out a low whistle.

“Okay, that’s obviously a trap. They’re waiting for us to go up to the Ferris wheel and then shoot us. So I say we split into two groups, with the first group distracting them while the second sneaks up the wheel.”

It’s a good plan, but almost too easy. Four catches Tris’s eye across the group and she seems to be thinking the same thing. She nods for him to speak up again.

“But don’t you think they’d expect us to do that?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So let’s stay one step ahead of the other team. Let’s split into _three_ groups.”

Everyone murmurs but the general consensus is that it’s a good idea. Will gives him a hard pat on the shoulder, saying something about how he’s almost as smart as an Erudite. And Tris smiles brightly, like she’s finally proud of him.

Somehow, he ends up being delegated to the third group along with Tris, Shauna, and Zeke. This may or may not have been well-thought out because the third group is the group that’s going to eventually scale the wheel to retrieve the flag and _shit_ , that wheel is so tall.

He inhales. Dauntless. He exhales. Fearless. He can do this.

They approach the other side of the park as a team but then the first group splits off, running and screaming into the trees with as much insanity as a suicide mission. Next, when they are close to the base of the Ferris wheel, the second group splits off and sprints forward. Sure enough, a second assembly of defenders await them, jumping out of the bushes to ambush with paintballs. The third group now inches along in the shadows until they reach the Ferris wheel. Behind him, he hears the sound of guns firing in a paintball carnage. There’s loud swearing and even louder laughter.

When the four of them start climbing the ladder together, Shauna gets hit by a paintball to the shoulder. Uriah is the lone survivor of the second shootout and he charges at them. Together, Four, Tris, and Zeke all aim and shoot. With a 3-to-1 disadvantage, Uriah is quickly down with three colorful splotches across his chest, but he does manage to shoot Zeke too. The two brothers both dramatically fall to the ground and Shauna laughs.

With that, it’s just Four and Tris. They ascend the ladder as quickly as possible.

“You better not let me down now, Stiff. There’s a pretty dress I want to buy after I win the bet.”

“Is this a bad time to mention I’m scared of heights?”

She just throws her head back and laughs, like she doesn’t understand he’s not kidding.

He struggles but manages to keep up with her. They reach the landing in the center of the wheel, the height is already nauseating, but he realizes with dread they are only halfway there. And the rest of the way has no ladder. Tris wastes no time in squeezing into the metal framework of the wheel and climbing up the array of bars and rungs. He watches her pull herself upwards with ease and not a single second of hesitation. All anyone had to do was watch her right now and understand how someone so unassuming ranked first.

“Are you coming or what?”

He snaps out of his daze and climbs after her. The steel groans under his weight. As they get closer to the top, there’s a few gunshots as Peter’s team reaches the wheel and realizes their flag is in jeopardy. But by that point, they were so high up in the wheel, the paintballs were never going to reach them. The game is basically theirs—as long as they don’t fall to their death, that is.

Tris lets him do the honors of retrieving the flag and he waves it to the gathering crowd below them. Celebratory whoops rise from their team members and he can practically see Peter’s scowl from all the way up there.

But the descent is the hard part.

As in, on his way down to the landing in the middle, a section breaks off from under his feet. He doesn’t have enough time to tighten his grip, so he actually free falls for a whole second—the longest second of his life—before his hands grasp around another bar. He dangles by one hand, three feet below the landing, and hundreds of feet from the ground.

“Tris? A little help.”

“Shit! Hold on, I’m coming.”

She maneuvers down to a cross section of two bars, the only sturdy spot remaining after a whole section of the Ferris wheel broke off. She crouches down and extends her hand to him. She’s wearing those fingerless gloves again, the same ones she wore when he first met her the day of the Choosing Ceremony. As he swings his other arm up and grabs her hand, he wonders if he made the right choice choosing Dauntless after all. He’s currently one hand slip away from certain death, he was beaten unconscious yesterday, and he lives in constant paranoia of being discovered for being Divergent.

But then Tris pulls him up and he finds his footing on the same crossed bars. They’re so close that their feet have to overlap and when they stand up, her face is practically pressed against his chest. She smiles shyly (and he’s never seen her _shy_ about anything before) and her eyes are absurdly pretty under the moonlight and she gently pats his chest twice.

“Well, that’s one way to get over your fear.”

She keeps her hand over his chest and his heart hasn’t stopped racing and he feels a sort of emotion that there is no word for and he thinks, yes. He made the right choice coming here.

/

In his second fight, he wins.

/

When they practice throwing knives, he’s glad to learn that his aim is still perfectly intact. Just like at the shooting range, he has a quick learning curve and is the first to throw a dagger onto the target, even before anyone else can even get theirs to stick to the wood.

As he prepares to throw his next knife, someone subtly shoves him from behind and the knife slips from his hand, clattering onto the floor to the side. He turns around ready to roll his eyes at Eric, but instead finds Tris with a stern look on her face.

“Careful. They’re watching.”

He looks by the door and sees that Peter and a few other Dauntless officials have stopped by the training room to observe the transfers. He remembers Tori warning him not to draw attention to himself. He remembers Tori instructing him to do as Tris says. Tris continues walking but gives him another knowing look and he wonders if she can see right through him.

So, he stops drawing attention to himself. For the next ten minutes anyway. Because when Peter decides to pick on Shauna, who is particularly awful with the knives, and orders her to stand in front of the target—he couldn’t help it.

“ _Stop_. That doesn’t prove anything.”

Lauren, who is standing beside him, squeezes his forearm hard in warning and Tris, who is across the room, glares daggers at him sharper than any of the ones they’ve been throwing. Both trying desperately to get him to shut up.

But Peter just grins.

“Alright, Four. If it doesn’t prove anything…then why don’t _you_ throw the knives? If you don’t want your friend to get hurt, just don’t hit her.”

And he doesn’t hit her. Not even a scratch. Shauna lets go of the breath she was holding, Peter looks disappointed but dismisses them, and Tris doesn’t even look at him.

/

“I’m gonna get cut.”

“No, Shauna, you don’t know that.”

“But I’m so bad at fighting! And with the knives. If I lose another match, I’m going to be ranked last and I’m going to be factionless.”

No one knows what to say because it’s true. At the rate she’s going, Shauna is definitely not going to make it to the second round. And Four can’t let that happen.

“I’ll help you.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I’ve been doing extra training at night to improve my fighting. You can train with me and I’ll teach you the small tricks and strategies to win your last fight.”

“You’ll really do that for me?”

“Sure. That’s what Abnegation friends are for.”

Shauna laughs and hugs him and tells him he’s her favorite. He’s never been anyone’s favorite before.

/

He and Shauna both win their last fight, but he still lies awake all night trying to predict how the rankings will be numerically scored and calculate the probability that Shauna makes the cutoff point. It’s going to be close. And he’s going to worry.

The next day is Visiting Day and even though he knows with every honest bone in his body that his father would never step foot in Dauntless, he goes out into the Pit with Shauna and Lauren anyway. They quickly find their families and leave him standing to the side, watching the happy reunions take place. Among the mass of Dauntless black, the transfers’ visiting families sprinkle the Pit with Erudite blue and Candor white. There’s even a splash of Amity yellow and red as Mia’s family boldly came to visit her.

There’s no grey though.

He’s about to go back to the dormitory when he sees Tris leaning against a railing, watching the crowd just like he had been. The fact that she’s alone must mean she’s not a Dauntless-born. He wonders which faction a girl like Tris could ever have belonged to besides Dauntless through and through.

She also looks different, he realizes. Her hair is down, rather than the tight knot it’s usually in during training. And she’s wearing eyeliner which makes her look older and sophisticated. And she’s wearing a dress with a hemline short enough to make the entire Abnegation faction faint. He has to quickly look away from her lean legs as he feels his cheeks warm with an embarrassed blush. With his averted gaze, he notices two dark lines peeking out from her dress sleeve, the bottom of another secret tattoo.

He looks away too late and she’s caught him staring. To his surprise, she beckons him to come closer. He slowly walks over until he’s a just a footstep away and nervously shoves his hands into his black jean pockets. Not that he’s been counting, but she hasn’t spoken to him since the knife throwing incident.

“Your family didn’t come?”

“No. Did yours?”

She smiles wistfully.

“My mother did, yes.”

He briefly wonders if his mother would have come, if she was still alive. He briefly wonders if he would have stayed in Abnegation, if she was still alive.

He shakes his head. Best not dwell on thoughts like that.

“Um…is that the dress you bought after winning the game?”

“Yeah, you like it?”

She twirls a full circle and the dress spins out. The action is so unexpectedly youthful and feminine, he is reminded that she’s indeed only an eighteen-year-old girl.

And she’s _pretty._ That’s the weird feeling inside him that’s been nagging him ever since the Ferris wheel. He thinks she’s pretty. He _fancies_ her, even. This is completely unfamiliar waters here because he’s never thought a girl pretty before, mainly because all women hide their beauty in Abnegation since it leads to vanity. But he’s not in Abnegation anymore and girls in Dauntless aren’t afraid to flaunt and in this moment, he thinks he’s in the presence of a goddess.

They both turn when Tris’s name is called and he sees Christina, Will, Uriah, and, to his surprise, Tori. They wave at Tris to join them as they head down the corridor towards the shops. Tris walks about three steps before she stops and turns around to Four again.

“You’re gonna be fine, Stiff.”

And then she hurries after her friends. He watches her give Tori a small hug before Uriah drapes his arm across Tris’s shoulders and they disappear around the corridor.

/

He’s ranked third amongst the transfers after round one. Eric is first, which he made sure to boast to every person he sees. Lauren is second. Mia is seventh. Shauna is eighth.

There’s a round of empty congratulations and absentminded hugs before they all turn their attention back to Tris. Because it doesn’t matter so much how they ranked amongst each other. It matters how they ranked against the Dauntless-borns.

It matters if Shauna is factionless or not.

Tris reads off the names of the four initiates who ranked the worst and who will have to leave. The eleventh place transfer, the tenth place transfer, the ninth place transfer…and the last place Dauntless-born.

Lauren sighs so loudly she almost blows him over. He lets out a loud whoop (which is singlehandedly the most Dauntless-esque thing he’s done to date) and hugs Shauna. She’s safe. She’s still here. Lauren and Mia and the fifth place transfer, a girl from Erudite who sometimes talks to Shauna, all join in as well, piling into a massive group hug. He’s never been hugged so many times in his life and it’s kind of nice. Eric and the other boys scoff at the sight. Is it weird that Four has only managed to befriend the girls? Maybe. But right now he couldn’t care less. He lets Shauna jump onto his back and gives her a piggy-back ride out of the dormitory.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Tris watching them with a strange expression on her face. Envy? He shakes the silly idea of his head.

/

“We’re going to do _what?_ ”

He stands next to Zeke on the roof of a tall tower. A single metal rope is connected to the top of the tower and extends down into the city out of sight. Uriah climbs into a sort of harness, latches the top to the metal rope, and dives headfirst into the open air. Four’s stomach twists with vertigo, even though he’s still standing firmly on the roof. It’s a sort of ritual, apparently. Usually only the Dauntless-born initiates can attend, but Zeke made a point of inviting Four. And now they’re being shoved into a sloppy line for the zip ride and he wants to be anywhere but here.

There’s a tap on his shoulder. It’s Tris. She wears a wide grin and her eyes have a certain unusual brightness. Then he sees the brown bottle in her hand and realizes she’s been drinking. Behind her, Christina, Will, Marlene, and a few more Dauntless he doesn’t know wave at him. It’s probably a really bad idea to zip line fifty stories above the ground while drunk, but hey, they’re Dauntless.  One of the Dauntless woman he doesn’t recognize introduces herself as Lynn, Shauna’s sister. He’s about to apologize for not bringing Shauna along but Lynn only tells him to _whip my little sister into shape, won’t you? It’s becoming embarrassing._

Before he knows it, it’s Zeke’s turn, and then he disappears over the ledge with a loud scream and then it’s his turn, and then he’s falling.

And holy shit, it was the most terrifying thing he’s ever done.

Later, when he’s finally on sturdy ground, he has to sit for a good ten minutes, waiting for his heart to stop racing. While all the other Dauntless are yelling and screaming for this exhilarated high, he’s just trying to recover from having his life pass in front of his eyes. Good god, he thought he was going to _die_.

A small body comes flying down toward the drop-off location next. Uriah lets out a loud laugh and shouts Tris’s name. Somehow, she manages to shout back.

The people form the net of interlocked arms again and Four joins the disorderly mass of limbs. As Tris frees herself from the cord, she accidentally slips a little and falls a little too much towards the side, which meant the whole group of hand-holding Dauntless had to shuffle a few steps back to catch her. She ends up falling practically directly on top of Four.

Everyone else laughs and lets go of their arms, a few losing their balance in the shuffle and falling to the ground. He still carries Tris in his arms and he moves to set her down, but she wraps her arms around his neck instead, bringing her face insanely close to his. His heart rate picks up again in a whole different kind of vertigo.

“I see you’re learning to make friends. At least with the ladies.”

Her breath smells like alcohol and he’s never seen her so _not_ composed, but it’s kind of cute. Endearing, even.

“Yeah, I can’t quite get the boys to like me.”

“They’re just intimidated by you. I mean, you’re all broody and serious all the time and you’re threatening to kick them to the bottom of the rankings. But us girls, well, we’re more forgiving. Especially when you have a nice face.”

She gently places her hand on his cheek for a second before she hops down from his arms and roughly drags him back to the crowd again as they catch the next person.

His cheek still burns from her touch and this is the precise moment when he realizes that he was in way over his head.

He’s in love with a girl who is light-years out of his league.


	2. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Spoilers for Insurgent, btw.)

The second stage simulations haven’t been that bad. A really small confined box. Falling endlessly in a bottomless abyss. All very horrible, but they’re only simulations. He knows it’s not real. And he’s been setting record times.

But his last simulation—the second he opens his eyes and sees the grey walls to his old Abnegation home, he just _knows_. His whole body fills with dread, then defeat, and finally absolute fear. He thought he had escaped. He thought he never had to face his father again.

A footstep. His father appears before him, belt in hand.

Another footstep. A second Marcus appears.

Then a third.

A fourth.

They all attack at once and even though he’s stronger now, even though he knows how to fight back now, he’s utterly powerless. The belts keep beating and his arms and back stings all over and he can only cower onto the floor, burying his face in his arms. He doesn’t know how long he spends curled up like that on the floor with his four fathers continue to yell at him. Maybe it’s been twenty minutes. Maybe it’s been days.

Faintly, almost as if it came from a different world, he feels a soft squeeze on his hand. It’s Tris, back in the Dauntless simulation room, worrying about him. He doesn’t know how it’s possible for him to feel her touch, but he does. It reminds him that this isn’t real. So he manipulates the scene. If there are four of his father, then there shall be four of him. Four, like the imaginary versions of himself, like the factions he could have chosen from, like the number, like his name.

Dauntless Four stands, yanks the belt away from the first Marcus, and strikes him back. Erudite Four ducks under the second Marcus’s swing and kicks, sending Marcus onto the floor. Candor Four yells back, louder than he’s ever used his voice before, and punches the third Marcus in the jaw. Amity Four faces the fourth Marcus, who is on his knees begging Four to stay in Abnegation, like he had before the Choosing Ceremony. And Amity Four just glares at him and says, _I will never forgive you._

But just when he thinks it’s finally over, a fifth Marcus appears along with a fifth version of himself. Abnegation Four is still skinny and weak like he was before he began training. When the fifth Marcus beats him with the belt, Abnegation Four does nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Suddenly, the simulation dissolves around him and he’s back on the chair again. Tris must have overridden the simulation from the computer or something because no way did he get out of that one himself. He sits up and sneaks a look at the computer screen for his time. Ten minutes forty seconds. Much slower than his previous trials, yes, but still faster than all the other transfers’ average times. Why did Tris stop it so soon?

Only then does he notice Tris’s expression. Shock, disbelief, sympathy, sadness. But there was also something else in those tear-lined eyes, something he did not expect to see. Guilt.

She grabs both his shoulders and leans in close. With him seated and her standing, they are at almost perfect eye level. There’s a hitch in her voice as she whispers the question.

“What is your name? Your real name.”

“Tobias.”

”Tobias _Eaton_?”

How would she know that? Perhaps she recognized Marcus as one of the Abnegation leaders? Before he can ask, she pulls him out through the back door and down a dark corridor towards the dormitory. Where the hidden cameras won’t see, he realizes. Then, without warning, she hugs him, so tight his ribcage hurts.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. This is my fault.”

“What are you talking about, Tris?”

He struggles to pull her away from him far enough so he can see her face. When her arm reached up to wrap around his neck, her sleeve slid back, revealing more of the hidden tattoo he had noticed a few days earlier. It’s a circle—a faction seal. He pushes the sleeve back all the way. It’s the Abnegation faction symbol.

She smiles weakly through her tears.

“Wanna know a secret? Tris isn’t my real name either. It’s short for Beatrice.”

Just like that, everything clicks into place.

“Beatrice _Prior_?”

They don’t say anything else after that. They simply stand in each other’s embrace in the hidden tunnels of the Dauntless compound, two lost Abnegation souls who didn’t find each other until now, because all the fates were against them.

/

Erudite releases an article condemning Abnegation of cruelty against their children.

He doesn’t say anything.

Because it’s the truth, isn’t it?

/

He goes to see Tori that night because he has so many questions and no one will give him answers. Why is being a Divergent so dangerous? Who is trying to kill the Divergents? Is Tris Divergent? What does it all mean? However, Tori turns away when he approaches her in the tattoo shop.

“We can’t talk here. It’s too conspicuous.”

He looks around the parlor at all the designs on the walls. Then, he swiftly pulls off his shirt.

“I’m not here to talk. I’m here to get a tattoo.”

He tells her that he wants four symbols in a row down his spine: Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Amity. He also gives Tori “free reign” on making the rest of his back “look cool.” In essence, he’s just buying time.

And as he lays on his stomach on the cot and Tori draws the ink into his skin, she explains everything to him, as much as she can. She tells him about her brother, about how the leaders are afraid of Divergence, about how even after years have passed, she’s still not over it.

“But you’re gonna live, kid. I got Tris through initiation and she’s sure as hell gonna get you through. I’m sure of it.”

“So, Tris is…as well?”

Suddenly, he hears footsteps approaching. Her black leather boots come into his vision first, then her gloved hands, then her bird tattoos, and finally her smirking face.

“I’m what as well?”

Tori gives Tris a brief hug and then their boss is calling Tori over, pointing at the gathering crowd of customers around the shop. Four had been hogging Tori’s time for a while. With a sly smile, Tris nudges Tori towards the awaiting customers and takes the tattoo gun from Tori’s hand.

“You go ahead. I’ll finish Four’s from here.”

When her cold fingers first make contact with his bare back, he shudders. She gently traces the four circles on his back and chuckles softly.

“Well, might as well tattoo _DIVERGENT_ across your forehead, shall we?”

“I just figured if you could get another faction’s symbol, so could I.”

She finishes the design Tori had started. He watches her work and cannot imagine why someone so strong, so fierce, so _determined_ could spend her days inside a darkly lit shop drawing designs on people’s skins.

“Why did you choose to work here? You were ranked first. So why did you choose to work in the tattoo shop, of all places?”

“Dauntless leadership is no place for people like us. And besides, I wanted to be with Tori.”

 _People like us._ He smiles despite himself.

After she is finished, he stands up and inspects the work in the mirror. Around the circles, many long, sharp, black lines extend outwards from his back. He’s so amazed by the handiwork that he almost didn’t notice the fifth faction symbol that somehow ended up at the bottom.

“Why did you put the Abnegation symbol there too? I didn’t want—”

She interrupts him by gently pressing her hands against his back. He turns around but she doesn’t move, so she remains close, so close that his bare chest can practically feel her presence a mere inch away.

“What were your aptitude test results, Four?”

“Dauntless, Erudite, Candor, Amity.”

“And?”

He sighs. She already knew.

“Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Because you’re not Four; you’re Five. Didn’t you see, back in your simulation? You’ve learned to come to terms with your first four selves, but the fifth is your weakness. Selfless is not the same thing as weakness, Tobias.”

It feels out of place hearing his real name here. But at the same time, it also feels like he’s finally himself. Blame it on Dauntless bravery or Candor rashness, but he decides to reach for her hand. They interlace fingers and she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t pull away either.

She’s probably right, anyway. It’s unhealthy for him to project his hatred for his father onto the whole faction. Besides, not everyone in Abnegation is horrible, because the beautiful girl in front of him holding his hand is quite the contrary.

/

“Congrats, Four! You’re ranked first!”

/

A strange thing happens on the first day of the third round of initiation after Tris brings them to fear landscape room in the Pire. When Four glances out one of the large windows, he swears he sees a man with an eye-patch standing outside. But the man disappears behind a ledge, so quickly Four cannot be sure anyone was there at all. When he walks over closer to the window to peer out, no one is there.

That night, when he goes to sleep, he moves his arm to wrap underneath his pillow as he sleeps on his stomach and his hand brushes against something. He lifts his pillow to find a small folded-up piece of paper. Looking around the dormitory, he sees that most of the initiates are already asleep and those that are still up are talking amongst themselves, not paying him any attention. He quickly unfolds the note and reads the scribbled words in the dim lighting.

_Tobias—  
Meet at the train yard tomorrow 7 pm._

Who wrote this? For a second, he thinks it’s Tris since she is the only one in Dauntless who knows his real name. But the handwriting doesn’t match Tris’s and something about this note—the faded yellow color as if the paper is decades old, the cursive letters that look oddly familiar—is terribly unsettling. And if it’s not from Tris, then it has to be from some other faction. That means someone was _here_ , in this dormitory. The Dauntless compound has countless security cameras, so it must have been no easy feat for the intruder to break in and leave undetected and unscathed. All to deliver him this note.

Which means it must be important.

Which means he has to go.

/

The train is empty when he takes it to the train yard. He hops off at the platform and the man with the eye-patch is waiting for him, the same man he saw outside the Pire yesterday. The man is wearing a large red long-sleeve shirt and a pair of black jeans. Factionless, he realizes.

“Tobias Eaton?”

Four only nods. Suddenly, he feels apprehensive about this entire situation. But it’s too late now and the eye-patched man is already walking down an alley, motioning for him to follow.

“There’s someone who wants to see you.”

They reach an old abandoned train and the man easily climbs up into the third car. Four looks at the man’s black jeans again and wonders if he used to be Dauntless. After he climbs into the car, he sees the factionless man speaking to a woman in the corner. Her face is hidden in the shadow so he cannot see who it is. The factionless leader? Do the factionless even have leaders? And most importantly, how the hell do they know about _him_?

“Thank you, Edward. I’ll take it from here.”

Edward nods and hops off the train. But Four is only staring at the factionless woman because her voice…that voice…it’s vaguely yet strikingly familiar, just like the handwriting on the note was. Not quite deja vu, not quite a memory, more like something monumental he forgot to remember. Or remembered to forget.

She takes a step towards him into the light and he feels like he just got punched in the stomach, so hard it knocks the wind out of him. His mind races as he tries to process this unfathomable impossibility: this is a simulation, this is a dream, this is a cruel joke, a prank, an illusion, this is not real, this is not real, thisisnotrealthisisnotreal…

/

The train is empty when he takes it back to the Dauntless compound.

He’s still shaking as he silently slips back inside and walks down the dark hallways. It’s late; he stayed at the train yard talking to Evelyn for a long time. There’s a lot of information to process, a lot of decisions to make, and a lot of conflicting emotions to feel.

He is so distracted and lost in his thoughts that he does not hear the footsteps approaching until there is a sack over his head and three pairs of arms shoving him at once. Adrenaline immediately pumps through his veins and he fights back, enough to shake off two of the attackers and rip the sack off his face. But then he gets the distinct sensation of a needle being injected into his neck. And then—

—then, it’s _funny_. The two others get up off the ground and shove him backwards. He stumbles and loses his footing and he chuckles at how clumsy he is. His arms and legs feel heavy and numb, like he can barely lift them up, so he sits on the ground for a while, throwing his left arm up and watching it fall limply onto the ground. Now he throws his head back to laugh because god, it’s so _funny_.

The three people talk quickly amongst themselves, like they don’t know what to do with him. Before he knows it, two of them are hauling him up by arms and the third is lifting his legs and they’re carrying him away. It almost feels like he’s flying. He hopes they keep carrying him for a while because he’s tired and his legs are so heavy and he doesn’t think he can walk.

They pass under a blue light and he catches sight of the face of the person who’s holding him up by the legs.

“Oh, Mia! Hi, I didn’t recognize you.”

She stops walking and loses her grip, so his feet fall hard against the pavement. She looks utterly horrified and he doesn’t know why.

“Don’t do that, you look pretty when you smile. Mia, I’m glad we’re friends, aren’t you? Wait, do I know you guys too?”

Four leans his head back to peer at the two others. One quickly turns his face away, but he easily recognized the second.

“Eric! Look, okay, I know we may not like each other too much but what do you say we put—hey, are we by the river?”

The sound of water rushing fills his ears. Even though Mia is no longer carrying his legs, Eric and the other boy continue to drag him closer and closer to the ledge that overlooks the river. Eric pulls him up until he’s standing on his feet again, leaning into the metal railing. He feels water splash across his face and the coldness makes him alert. What’s going on?

Too late. Eric forcefully kicks his feet forward and they slip over the ledge. In his overly drowsing state, Four manages to grab onto the railing as he fell, but not much else. Behind him, he hears a piercing scream.

“STOP!! No, please, stop!”

It’s Mia. She rushes forward and tries to help Four back up, but Eric punches her in the jaw, sending her to the ground.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Four’s hands still feel so heavy and so numb. He can barely hang on. He can barely hang on.

/

What happens next he only remembers in fragments:

People running at them.

Someone helping him back to safety.

Mia crying on the ground.

People running away.

Tris’s face close to his, telling him to stay awake, stay awake…

/

He doesn’t stay awake.

/

The next morning, he opens his eyes to find himself in Tris’s apartment, on her bed, which is just the big finish to the list of outrageous things that have happened in the past 24 hours.

She walks over to him and sits on the bed facing him. He moves his legs aside to give her room and she crosses her legs. There are dark circles under her eyes and a cut above her eyebrow.

“Why am I here? How did I get here?”

“You don’t remember? They injected you with a strong triple dose of a peace serum. They tried to throw you off the ledge, but Mia had a change of heart at the last second. Uriah and I ran over as fast as we could. Uriah chased down Eric and Randall while I helped you back here.”

He sits up with some difficulty. His whole body still feels heavy like lead. Tentatively, he reaches out to gently touch the side of her head while he inspects the cut.

“Did they hurt you?”

“Eric threw in a good punch, but I threw in a better one.”

The thought of Tris beating Eric up makes him ridiculously happy.

“What were you and Uriah doing out so late at night that you were there to hear us?”

“The Erudite came to Dauntless last night. Christina saw them being ushered to Max’s office, so a bunch of us went to eavesdrop. Jeanine Matthews kept referring to some ‘agreement’ they had and the Erudite brought over many boxes full of simulation serum. The Erudite do supply us with the serum used during initiation, but there was enough supply for ten times the initiation class. There was enough supply for the entire Dauntless population.”

“What are they trying to do, put everyone under a simulation?”

“I don’t know. But Erudite and Abnegation tension has been rising recently and I don’t like it. And that’s not the worst part. You know how you’re immune to the simulation because you’re Divergent? Apparently Jeanine knows too, because the last thing she said to Max was ‘Use it to smoke out the Divergent and bring them to me.’ That’s why Uriah and I were up so late last night. We had to come up with a plan.”

“You mean, Uriah is Divergent as well? How many more are there in Dauntless?”

“As of right now, you and Uriah are the only other living Divergent I know of. And I’d rather not wait for the Erudite to find out who our other friends are.”

 _Living_ Divergent. He thinks about Tori’s brother and how he was found in chasm one morning, without warning. Then he remembers that that same thing would have happened to him this morning if it wasn’t for Tris.

“Is that why they were trying to kill me? Because they found out I was Divergent?”

She laughs but it doesn’t reach her tired eyes.

“No, of course not. They just wanted to kill you because you’re ranked first and threatening to kick them out of Dauntless. They are too stupid to realize that being factionless is the least of their worries right now, if there is a possible war brewing.”

“Even Mia?”

“She’s ranked last, Four. Who do you think got the peace serum? It’s only used in Amity. Dauntless initiation brings out the worst in people. Trust me, I’ve seen it. But let’s not talk about that. Where were you last night? I didn’t see you at dinner.”

“I…um…wait, if I slept in your bed last night, where did you sleep?”

It was probably the most obvious subject change in history and Tris’s eyes narrow to inspect him suspiciously, but she doesn’t push and he’s grateful. Instead, smiles slyly, the same way she does whenever she wins a gamble.

“I didn’t sleep. Uriah and Tori both came here for a while to discuss a plan and I snooped around Max and Peter’s offices to try to find any information. Although, you were quite generous in inviting me to join you on the bed. Multiple times.”

Her tone is light and teasing. And as he recalls some of the loopy words he said earlier under the peace serum, he has an aching suspicion there was more humiliating things he did that she wanted to make fun of. He buries his face in his hands.

“Stop grinning like that and just tell me what other stupid thing I said.”

Instead of telling him though, she leans forward and wraps her arms around his waist. She tilts her head up and kisses his cheek before resting her head in the crook of his neck. He’s so shocked, it takes him a good minute before he folds his arms around her, holding her close. And for a moment, nothing else existed and everything was okay.

/

Two initiates are missing and Eric has a black eye during training that day. Peter entered the room and discussed something briefly with Tris and Christina before Tris stepped in front of the murmuring initiates.

“Randall is in the infirmary and will not be joining us today. Mia has chosen to leave Dauntless and will no longer be part of the initiation process.”

Even more murmurs follow her announcement. Lauren and Shauna quickly find him and ask if he knows anything about what happened. For Mia’s sake, for her dignity and morality, he shrugs and shakes his head.

/

“How come we practiced in Christina’s fear landscape instead of yours today?”

He is following Tris up a flight of steps and down a tunnel he’s never been before. He doesn’t know where they’re going, but she tapped him on the shoulder after dinner and he got up without a word. Frankly, he’d follow her anywhere.

“Because only special people get to see my fear landscape.”

They turn a corner and he finally realizes where they’re going—back to the fear landscape room. He can’t help the smile on his face.

“So, I’m special people then?”

“Oh shut up.”

She sticks her tongue out at him and it’s damn adorable.

/

One. They are being attacked by crows, so many that he can’t count or see or breathe. Tris is screaming and there’s panic in her eyes. He reaches for her arm and only then does she snap out of it, as if she only just remembered this is a simulation. Two guns appear in the grass and they shoot the crows, back to back.

Two. They are in a tank filled with rising water. She’s calmer now, and she simply stands waiting for the tank to fill. He trusts that she knows what she’s doing, having obviously been through her own fear landscape before, but the tank is small and his own fear of confinement is slowly creeping in. When it’s clear she isn’t going to take any action until they’re both fully submerged, he takes off his jacket, holds his breath, crouches down to where the water pipe is, and stuffs it shut with his jacket. The water stops rising.

“Oh. I never thought of that.”

Three, Four, Five.

Six. They’re now standing five feet (too far) apart and she has a gun in her hand as her next fear materializes. Jeanine Matthews is there as well as Tris’s family. He recognizes her father and he guesses the teenaged boy is her brother. Jeanine instructs Tris to shoot her family. Before Four even has time to realize what she’s about to do, she aims the gun to her own head and pulls the trigger. She doesn’t even blink.

Seven. They are back in her Dauntless apartment. She sits on her bed with her legs crossed in front of her, like she was this morning. He paces her room for a while, waiting for someone to break in or for the river to burst through the wall or for the whole place to set on fire, but nothing happens. He turns to her expectantly.

“I don’t understand. There’s usually a man here. I guess my fear landscape changed? But what—”

She stops abruptly and stares at him with wide eyes. She clutches her quilt so tightly her knuckles turn white and he’s never seen her so afraid or so vulnerable or so small. He looks behind him, but it’s still an empty room. Then he figures it out: it’s _him_. He’s the new man in the room.

“Tris, relax it’s just me.”

He takes a step towards her and she visibly shuffles backwards on the bed. He stops dead in his tracks.

“You’re scared of _me_?”

She doesn’t move and he can hear her loud heartbeat from where he’s standing. Maybe it’s rash and he knows full well it’ll frighten her even more, but he walks the rest of the way and places his hands on her shoulders. As expected she flinches at the touch.

“Why are you scared of me? I’m not going to hurt you.”

“It’s not that.”

Her voice trembles and she can’t look him in the eye. Only then does he notice that she is hugging herself, like she is trying to shield her body. From what? From him?

“Tris, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

She takes a deep, shaky breath and the truth spills out hurriedly, sentences flowing together, a dam breaking free.

“Last night when you were under the peace serum, you told me that you think you’re in love with me. And I’m not gonna lie, I am attracted to you too, but this whole thing is all new to me and I’m scared, Four. That’s my last fear. A fear of intimacy.”

And he’s so relieved he wants to laugh. He presses his forehead against hers, slowly so as not to frighten her, and cradles her cheek with his hand.

“I meant what I said, even if I was heavily drugged when I said it. And this is all new to me too, obviously. But we can take this slow. I’m in no rush. Please don’t be scared of me.”

“Really?”

“Listen to me. I’m real. I’m not a simulation. And I love you.”

He kisses her and she’s hesitant at first, but then she melts into his arms, hooking one of hers around his neck.

And then it’s over. The simulation ends and the bed disappears from underneath her and she slips apart from him for a second as she falls to the ground. He easily pulls her back to her feet and she fits herself flush against him.

“Seven fears. Is that a record?”

“Yes. But it might be six now.”

She grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down to kiss him again. 


	3. Crashing

Turns out, Four has four fears. How about that.

/

He ranks first overall, even beating out the Dauntless-born initiates. Lauren, Shauna, and Zeke make it too. Eric makes it as well but at least Randall got cut, so it’s a partial victory.

During the celebration, he gets so excited he forgets all pretenses and kisses Tris in front of everyone. Lauren, Shauna, and Zeke look dumbfounded. On the other hand, Tris’s friends seemed to have made another bet about this and now Marlene gloats.

“See, I told you guys they’d be together by the end of initiation!”

Marlene gives Uriah a small peck on the cheek. Will throws one arm around Christina and uses the other to clap Four rather hardly on the back.

“Thanks to you, my good friend, Tris no longer has to be the fifth wheel. Now we just need to find someone for Lynn.”

Lynn just rolls her eyes.

“A lot of help you are, Tris. I was counting on you to be my lesbian lover.”

/

The celebration goes on well into the night. After both Four and Tris are well and tipsy from the alcohol, she half stumbles and half drags him down a series of tunnels until they end up back where it all began. The giant net where he first jumped into Dauntless.

The two of them climb onto the net and roll into the middle. He is much heavier than she is, so his weight pulls her towards his center of gravity until she’s practically on top of him, to which he’s certainly not complaining.

“I sometimes come here when I want to be alone, but I think I like it better when you keep me company.”

She kisses him twice, more sloppily and more passionately than ever, before settling down with her head on his chest. They stay like that for what feels like hours. 

He is counting the stars overhead while absentmindedly playing with a strand of her hair when he finally gets the courage to ask the question.

“Have you ever…who else have you…dated?”

She shifts so that she’s facing him, with her elbow on his chest and her head balanced on her hand. She chuckles a little bit, probably laughing at how flustered he is.

“No one.”

“No one?”

“Just you.”

“But…you’re _you._ Unless you’re actually not that pretty or amazing and my brain is just wired wrong.”

She smacks him hard across the chest, but she smiles.

“I mean, I've been on dates. You know Christina, of course she'd want to set me up with every half-decent boy she meets. But the dates always end badly. Horrifically. Will once said that it’s probably because boys don’t know what to do with me. I can be a handful sometimes.”

“So you’re saying you've never liked a single Dauntless boy in all history of time?”

“Well...there was Al, my friend— _used_ to be my friend. He was a transfer with me, Christina, and Will. The four of us used to sit together for meals and hang out together. It was pretty obvious that he liked me and I thought, you know, I could probably learn to eventually return his feelings..”

“Then what happened?”

He doesn’t recall ever meeting an Al here. But she tenses up and tears start to well in her eyes and shit, he didn’t realize this was going to be a sensitive subject. Sitting up, he pulls her into his lap and keeps a strong hold around her waist.

“He died. He tried to kill me, just like Mia tried to kill you. Afterwards, he tried to apologize but I refused to forgive him and then, he killed himself. Jumped into the river he tried to throw me into. I never told anyone about that incident. They all thought Al committed suicide because he knew he wasn’t going to pass initiation.”

She wipes the tears from her eyes. It aches him to see her like this, but he appreciates how trusting she is, how willing she is to pour open her soul and share her secrets. Secrets remind him of Evelyn and death reminds him that Erudite might start a war and he is forced to come to terms with the fact that his world is bigger than just him and Tris on this net. Bigger than Dauntless, even. Because a man with an eye-patch is coming to meet him tomorrow night and he still hasn’t made a decision.

And maybe he doesn't have to make the decision alone.

“Do you wanna know where I went the night Eric, Randall, and Mia attacked?”

Her eyebrows go up in surprise but she nods eagerly. Obviously she hasn’t forgotten about his blatant sidestepping of the question two nights ago.

“That night, I left Dauntless to go meet my mother.”

“Four…your mother is dead.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

/

“Hey Tris, so Shauna and I were talking and if things don’t work out between you and Four, we’d be happy to introduce you to our little brother Hector. Since you’re into younger guys and all.”

Tris throws her muffin at Lynn’s face.

It’s Four’s first morning as an official Dauntless member. He sits with Tris, Lynn, Shauna, Zeke, Uriah, Marlene, Christina, Will, and Lauren, all squeezed into one table that’s slightly too small to fit everyone. And he’s happy. After breakfast, he gets to move his belongings into his own little apartment and then he’ll have first pick of job assignments. Maybe he’ll pick a leadership position, just so Eric can’t. He’s still pondering what job to choose when Max appears and silences the crowd. To everyone’s surprise, Jeanine Matthews is standing there beside Max.

And Four has the sinking feeling that maybe he won’t even get to pick a job at all.

“Good morning everyone and congratulations again to all the new members of Dauntless. I do not mean to dampen your celebrations, but new events have come to our attention and action must be taken. The Erudite have alerted all the factions that the Divergent population among us all has been rising. And, as you know, that is a dangerous thing.”

Jeanine’s eyes peer over us, like a predator waiting for any sign of movement, ready to pounce. Under the table, Tris reaches for Four’s hand. He sees that she holds onto Uriah’s with her other. Max continues:

“Security will be heightened. Everyone will be injected with a tracking serum so we can better ensure your protection. As for the Divergents, if there are any here, I encourage you to be brave and do the right thing.”

Here, Jeanine takes her cue and steps in front of Max to address the crowd.

“All Divergents who report to Erudite headquarters and turns themselves in will not be persecuted. All those who don’t, will be. Erudite appreciates Dauntless’s cooperation.”

After that, the dining chamber explodes in conversation as everyone reacts to the news.

“So they’re real? The Divergent?”

“Of course they’re real, Zeke, don’t be stupid.”

“They have something wrong with their brains. And they don’t belong to just one faction, so they can’t be trusted.”

“Shauna, don’t start this again.”

“No, Lynn, I _will_ start this again. Because you heard them. The Divergent population is rising and that’s dangerous. They could bring down the entire faction system!”

Tris turns to face Shauna with a stone cold expression.

“So what are you saying? You agree with Jeanine and you think the Divergent should just turn themselves in one by one?”

“Jeanine said they won’t be prose—”

“Bullshit.”

Tris looks like she’s about to say more, but she freezes. Four follows her gaze back up to where Max and Jeanine stand. Two other Erudite have appeared beside their leader, listening intently to whatever Jeanine is saying. One is an older man with a bald head and the other is younger, with a face that looks vaguely familiar. And then Tris is out of her seat and sprinting down a hallway. He looks back and no one at the table seems to know why she did that. He quickly stands and follows after her. 

She is so fast that he loses her trail. It’s only after he hears her voice does he find her upstairs, with the younger Erudite man backed into a corner while she screams at the top of her lungs.

“How could you, Caleb?!”

Oh. That’s why he looked familiar. He was in her fear landscape. Except, in her fear landscape, she was afraid of having to kill him and here he is, helping Jeanine kill her.

“I am only doing what is _right_. Divergence is a threat. Look, just follow directions for once in your life, alright? Do what they tell you and no one will get hurt.”

“No, no one but the Divergents.”

She stares at her brother with an expression so penetrating, so heartbreaking, of course he understands what she’s implying. Then Caleb’s face crumbles.

“Oh god. No, no, no. Beatrice, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“But that doesn’t make any difference, does it? You’re still gonna help her, you’re still gonna hunt down the Divergents and you’re still gonna wage war on Abnegation! Our _parents_ , Caleb! What about our parents?!”

“I am not Abnegation anymore. Neither are you.”

At those cold words, she launches herself at her brother. Four hurries in to grab her around the waist and pry her away. Caleb takes the opportunity to escape. He looks back and repeats his apology again:

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Tris struggles against Four’s grasp, reaching for Caleb like she wants to simultaneously scratch his eyes out and hug him tight, never letting go. There are tears in her eyes now.

“Faction over blood, then? That’s how it’s going to be?”

Caleb disappears around the corner and doesn’t look back.

/

At nightfall, the train zooms by them, completely empty except for Edward, who nimbly jumps off and lands on his feet. He looks surprised to see Tris standing beside Four, but he nods at her in greeting and she nods back. It strikes Four that they already know each other.

Edward claps his hands together and looks at them expectantly.

“So? Do you have an agreement?”

“We’re in.”

/

It becomes apparent how they intend to smoke out the Divergents. Just on the way to the train alone, Four witnessed two Divergent Dauntless get shot because they weren’t smart enough to know to fake it. As they approach Abnegation, he hears some shuffling behind him and then Tris appears on his left, Uriah on his right. He prays with every fiber in his being that the plan works. It needs to.

And it does work. Right up to the point where Peter presses the barrel of his gun to Tris’s forehead.

“Good old Tris, first jumper Tris, seven fears Tris, first ranking Tris. I could shoot you right now and you can’t do anything about it. I could shoot you and no one would know.”

Maybe Peter doesn’t actually intend on killing her. Maybe he doesn’t have the guts. But before Four could stop himself, he steps out of formation and aims his gun at the back of Peter’s head. A second guard immediately points his at Four and Tris brings her to the guard. All daring the other to shoot first.

Peter chuckles to himself.

“So the two Stiffs are both Divergent. Cute.”

It’s hard to say how the stalemate would have ended otherwise, but what Peter didn’t account for was the fact that there are three of them.

Uriah shoots the guard. Four shoots Peter in the leg. Then they run.

After five blocks of houses, it looks as if the Dauntless army under the simulation have them surrounded. That’s when a storm of bullets is fired from behind and all the Dauntless fall to the ground, revealing Evelyn and her team of factionless. It’s terribly strange seeing his mother brandish a rifle.

Evelyn quickly ushers everyone towards the train tracks, explaining how they managed to rescue some of the Abnegation and are bringing them to a safe house. He doesn’t know how they managed to get into the train’s control system, but the train remains stationary on the track until they are all on board and then starts moving away from the Abnegation sector, away from the brain-dead Dauntless soldiers, away from genocide.

On the train, Tris is reunited with both her parents. Oddly enough, both Evelyn and Marcus are there in the same car as well, but his family remains as far apart from each other as possible. He scans the mass of armed factionless rebels and Abnegation refugees. Mia is there. He thinks he might learn to forgive her, perhaps, eventually.

/

After they get the refugees into the safe house, it’s clear they must return to Dauntless to shut down the simulation. Accompanying Four, Tris, and Uriah are Edward and Mia (since they were both Dauntless initiates once) along with Four and Tris’s parents.

Eric, of all people, is the guard they first run into back in Dauntless headquarters. He raises his gun to shoot but then slowly sets it back down when he sees nine guns pointing back at him.

Out of nowhere, Tris pulls out a knife and stabs Eric in the leg. He’s about to cry out in pain but she covers his mouth with her hand to stifle the scream.

“That’s for trying to kill Four, coward.”

Four feels honored and slightly intimidated by her action. 

Now, the ten of them make their way up to the control room with Eric limping along as a prisoner of war. Security increases tenfold when they reach the glass-paned level above the Pit. They manage to fend off the guards, but Edward took a bullet to the arm and it’s obvious Eric is slowing them down. So they leave Edward, Marcus, and Andrew to watch Eric and fend off any other incoming guards while the rest continue up the elevator.

The second the doors open, there’s gunfire. Four immediately presses against the wall, pinning Tris against him, and the others do the same. Uriah and Mia stick their guns out and fire back at the attackers.

“There’s too many of them! We’ll have to split up!”

At a pause in the shootout, Natalie reloads her gun and pulls Uriah back, taking his spot near the elevator doors.

“Mia, Evelyn, and I will run out first, to distract the guards. The three of you go up and find Jeanine and stop the simulation.”

“But Mom!”

Natalie kisses Tris’s forehead and then runs. No such exchange happens between Four and his mother, but she gives him a tight-lipped smile. Mia quickly follows after the two women. They run down the hall when reinforcements show up. When the last of the guards have passed, Four, Tris, and Uriah slip out undetected and head for the staircase. Uriah lets out a low whistle.

“Damn, my mom is nowhere near as badass as yours. And she’s actually Dauntless!”

Inside the control room, there are only three guards. Four doesn’t understand why there would be so little protection for the most important room until they approach closer and he sees who the three Dauntless guards are.

Shauna, Christina, and Marlene.

They all freeze. Across from them, their friends raise their guns in simulated synchronism.

Several Erudite are at the computers, typing away at the simulation data. Caleb, unfortunately, is one of them. Jeanine looks up from her screen and acknowledges their presence as if it were only a minor inconvenience.

“Tobias, Beatrice, and Uriah. Could you possibly be here to surrender and turn yourselves in?”

“ _Never_.”

The word comes out of Four like a bullet. Jeanine does look taken aback, but she shrugs nonchanantly.

“Very well then.”

She presses a button on her keyboard. Shauna, Christina, and Marlene begin to advance. Jeanine must have known the three of them would come to try to stop her, so she specifically called back the Dauntless members each of them care about most. They might have empty eyes, but how could Four shoot Shauna? How could Tris shoot Christina? How could Uriah shoot Marlene?

Shauna fires and Four ducks out of the way just in time. He kicks the gun out of her hands, but she just punches him in the stomach, sending him to the ground. She tries to pick up her gun but he swipes at her feet, making her fall as well. Then there’s fists flying everywhere and it breaks his heart.

Once, he defended Shauna against Peter and threw knives at her and didn’t even make a single scratch. Once, he taught her fighting tactics late at night and barely got any sleep, just so she could pass the first round of initiation. Once, she told him he was her favorite. Now she’s trying to kill him.

Somewhere in the scramble, he fires his gun. He had to.

He pushes Shauna off of him and doesn’t look at her. Part of him wants to know if she’s still alive but the other part of him couldn’t bear it if she is not. As he stands, he sees that Uriah had managed to knock Marlene unconscious, though he has a horrible gash on his head.

Two gunshots. Tris’s shoulder is bleeding. Christina falls to the ground. Tris drops her gun like it burns her and a sob wracks through her shaking body. Just like that, she lost her best friend. Four desperately wants to console her, but there isn’t time.

He rushes to where the computers are and presses his gun right into the back of Jeanine’s head. The Erudite look up in alarm. Uriah now joins him with his gun. As for Tris, she just goes up to Caleb and punches him square in the jaw.

“Turn off the simulation.”

His voice is steady, but Jeanine doesn’t move.

“You know I’m not going to do that.”

And he didn’t come all this way, kill all these people, just to let Jeanine Matthews _win_.

He knows a thing or two about computers and Uriah does as well; he works in the Dauntless computer room in charge of surveillance and data. So while the two of them work at the computer, Tris keeps the Erudite aside by keeping a gun aimed at them, although her right arm is wounded and her left is visibly shaking. Still, the Erudite are smart enough to realize that even injured, traumatized Tris is stronger than all of them combined, so they stay put.

Four and Uriah’s fingers fly across the keyboards and endless strands of binary code and simulation data fly across the multiple screens. But nothing. They can’t find the termination sequence. To the side, a screen broadcasts a live feed of the Abnegation sector where all the Dauntless soldiers have surrounded the Abnegation.

“You know, I must say, I’m impressed. I thought Ms. Prior and her triple faction test results were astonishing enough. But getting all five? Unheard of.”

He hates how Jeanine is trying to turn his Divergence, his greatest strength, into his greatest weakness. He hates how Jeanine talks to him with such a casual tone, like she already knows they’re going to fail and she’s only playing along to appease them, like they are only petty children.

He goes to the last computer at the far end, hoping that some useful information will present itself at last. What he doesn’t expect is for Caleb, who stands closest to him, to inconspicuously tap his arm and slip a small hard drive into his hand. Jeanine had turned her attention to taunting Tris now, so no one notices the exchange.

Of course, he’s still suspicious of Caleb. But he figures, there’s nothing _worse_ that could happen if he inserts the hard drive, so what’s the point of Caleb giving it to him if not to help? People can have change of hearts. He’d really like to believe that.

So, he plugs the hard drive into the computer. The screen flashes and then a new window pops up. A loading bar zips across the screen so fast he almost misses it. And then there it is, the main code that runs the entire simulation. He quickly types in the code for termination and hits enter.

The Dauntless soldiers on the screen come to an abrupt halt and look down at their weapons in confusion. From the doorway, Shauna screams in pain. When Jeanine realizes what happens she runs to the computer but Four beats her to it. He deletes the entire data sequence.

Then, they’re sprinting back outside. Caleb follows them, having proven his true allegiance. Tris doesn’t look at him, though.

“I don’t take back my punch.”

“I know.”

Uriah scoops Marlene, who is still unconscious but still breathing, up into his arms. Shauna is crying, perhaps from the bullet wound in her leg or perhaps from remembering all the innocent Abnegation members she killed or perhaps from both. But at least Shauna is still alive. Christina lies on the ground, a pool of blood gathering around her body, with open, lifeless eyes.

Four intends on helping Shauna and carrying her away to safety too, but then more Dauntless guards are rushing at them. Not simulation soldiers, actual Dauntless traitors. Uriah has his hands full, so he tosses his gun to Caleb who then clumsily shoots at the guards out of necessity, out of fear.

Shauna roughly shoves Four away.

“Go! Leave me! You don’t have much time.”

He lets Tris pull him away and down the stairs. At the second floor hallway, only Natalie walks towards them, sadly shaking her head. It takes a while for the truth to sink in. Mia is dead. _Evelyn_ is dead. Natalie and her children share a tight embrace while Uriah quietly asks him if he’s alright. You'd think that he would be since he already spent half his life getting used to the fact that his mother was gone, yet somehow, this is different. Somehow, this hurts more.

As they descend another flight of stairs to meet the rest of the group, Tris ends up back at his side with both arms wrapped securely around his torso. He’s unsure if it’s for his sake or hers, but it’s like she thinks if she lets go, they will both shatter.

But then they see the others. And she lets go of him.

Because earlier, they left four people here and now only three of them are still alive.

Slowly, Four walks towards the unmoving body and kneels down next to his father. Marcus has a bullet wound right in the center of his chest where his heart used to beat. He should feel relieved. This monster who he has only ever associated with cold-blooded fear is dead, gone forever. So why has the weight not lifted? Why does the weight feel even heavier?

Andrew Prior sits on the other side of Marcus, looking down at his friend in shock. The question barely comes out of Four’s mouth.

“What happened?”

“There was another wave of guards. We managed to shoot most of them, but then one of the fallen guards got hold of his gun again and shot at us. And Marcus saved me. It would have killed me but Marcus pushed me aside and took the bullet instead. He saved my life.”

It’s ironic and Four almost laughs. If a man inflicts insurmountable pain onto others on a daily basis for years but dies as a self-sacrificing Abnegation, is he still considered a martyr?

Natalie puts a gentle hand on Four’s shoulder and reminds everyone that they have to keep moving. She leads the way, followed Andrew and Caleb, then Edward with Eric in tow, and finally Uriah carrying Marlene. However, Tris remains by his side, keeping her good arm linked around his, tethering him down to reality. She’s the one who eventually leans down to close Marcus’s eyes.

“It’s okay to feel sad, you know. Even after everything he did. Even if it doesn’t make sense. He’s still your father.”

He looks at his father for a few more seconds before turning to walk away.

/

Later, on the train, Natalie tells him that both Evelyn and Mia wanted her to give him a message as part of their last dying words. Coincidentally, the messages were the same two words:

“I’m sorry.”

And that’s when he finally understands this heavy emotion inside of him as a result of Marcus’s death. It was a bitter mix of anger and disappointment—angry that he was denied the chance to finally stand up to his father and fight back; disappointed that his father never apologized.

/

They’re sitting by a fire back in the factionless safe house, passing cans of food around to each other. Tris hasn't left his side since they left Dauntless, and he doesn’t want her to. She is clearly still rattled from being forced to shoot her best friend and he has his own demons to worry about.

With the death of Evelyn, the factionless are left without a leader, and they were already disorganized enough as it was. By the far wall, he can see Tris’s parents talking intently with Therese, who was apparently next-in-rank in this ambiguous system that didn’t really qualify for a hierarchy.

As they eat spoonfuls of food, he peers around the large room. The factionless wear a mismatch of all colors of clothing and he’s never seen anything so disorderly and uncoordinated. Across from him, a small boy wears an oversized blue shirt with red pants and grey shoes. It looks so out of place. How can anyone be Erudite _and_ Amity _and_ Abnegation? Suddenly, he realizes that he himself is exactly that, along with Dauntless and Candor too. He looks around the room again and his eyes pick out all five faction colors individually but then he blinks and he sees the colors combine into something much greater. A community where everyone lives free and doesn't have to think twice before speaking or doing anything. A community where the color of cloth on your back doesn't make a single thing. It all comes crashing together.

Surely _this_ is what his aptitude test result meant. He is not all five factions.

He is factionless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I might continue this to include the other two books (I even incorporated important plot points for later on) but for now, this is finished. Let me know what you think.


	4. Trying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New year, new chapters! I changed the title of the story, because I always change my mind like that.

They sleep on cots with the factionless, the large room lit by several trashcan fires. Four (or maybe he should go by Tobias now) and Tris find a secluded corner for themselves with the cots drawn close, so the second he jolts awake from one nightmare or another, she reaches over and places a comforting hand over his chest. He doesn't think it's hit him yet, the fact that he's an orphan. His father is finally gone forever, but he had to lose his mother, twice. Perhaps it all evens out in the end. Perhaps he accidentally made a deal with the devil. In any case, he is now utterly and completely alone in the world, except for the saving grace beside him with a gentle hand over his racing heart. Perhaps that's enough.

Sometime later, he gets woken up by the sound of whispers. Tris's cot rustles from movement and then her hand is gone. He feigns sleep until the footsteps are a good distance away and then he opens his eyes. In the flickering campfire light, he sees Tris's retreating figure following her parents and brother to the other side of the room. He can just barely make out their silhouettes and the Prior family's conversation. Tris seems angry. Caleb puts a hand on her shoulder and she shakes him off with enough force to send him staggering back a few steps.

When she storms back, Tobias quickly turns away to lie on his side facing the wall. He closes his eyes and pretends he's been asleep this whole time. He hears Tris slide her cot even closer to his, so the two mats are touching, and then lies down again. A soft finger reaches out to trace the top of his tattoo peeking out from his shirt.

"You can turn around now."

He wants to ask how she knew he was awake, but he figures it's pointless.

"What did your parents say?"

"Apparently, the Erudite stole something important from Abnegation during the attack. We need to get it back, but we're going to need both the factionless and Dauntless to bring down Erudite. My parents want us to go to Candor where the loyal Dauntless are to talk alliance."

"What did Erudite steal?"

"I don't know. My parents wouldn't even tell me."

He peered down at her. Eyes focused, eyebrows narrowed, fists clenched. She looked every bit the part of the Dauntless daughter who didn't want to be ordered around by her Abnegation parents.

"Tris? Why are you so upset? It can't be just about the Erudite."

She simply looks up at him, her stern expression melting into something more like sadness. It immediately clicks in his head.

"Your parents…disapprove of me."

"That would be a nicer way of saying it."

"Because I'm younger than you?"

She laughs heartily and he can't help but laugh as well. She cranes her neck to peck him on the mouth, almost makes a big show out of it as if she knew her parents were watching, and then snuggles into his arms. She doesn't end up telling him why her parents disapprove of him.

/

The next day, Tobias, Tris, Uriah, and Marlene embark for Candor.

It's a quiet journey and the sun is hot on their backs as they trek across town. Marlene has become severely depressed since the attack. Tobias watches her walk beside him with her head turned down and back slouched. The spark is gone from her eyes now and is replaced by a marked despair, a sadness so strong it seems she will never recover, a grief so immense it seems she doesn't even value her own life anymore. And that scares him more than all his four fears combined.

"How is she?"

"Not good. I can barely get her to talk and when I do, she only apologizes over and over again for killing the Abnegation and for almost killing me."

A few steps ahead, Tris is walking with Uriah. Tobias wonders if they realize their whispered conversation isn't soft enough. Then he glances back at Marlene and wonders if she can even hear them. Or if she cares. It triggers the Amity inside him, the side that so often gets overshadowed by the others, and he wraps an around her shoulders in comfort.

The whole trip was so uneventful that they are severely blind-sighted when they get ambushed at Candor. One second, they're inside Merciless Mart asking a passing man where the Dauntless are and the next second, they're surrounded by armed Dauntless guards. Their best friends are the ones pointing guns at their faces. Tris raises her hands in the air and the rest of them hurry to do the same. Somewhere in the hustle, Marlene gets pulled aside.

"Four, Uriah, and Tris, you are arrested for assault, abduction, and murder."

"WHAT?"

"You have committed crimes against humanity and will be tried under law."

Tobias feels his stomach drop to the floor. They know what happened back at Dauntless headquarters. They  _know_.

Suddenly, Lynn charges at him, pressing the barrel of her gun straight at his forehead.

"You left my sister to die!"

Marlene shrieks from the sidelines. She tries to run towards them but Zeke holds her back.

"No, we were all under the simulation still! It's not their fault! It's not their fault…it's  _my_ fault."

As Marlene breaks down sobbing, Lynn finally lowers her gun. Tori tells the guards to bring the three Divergents up to Jack Kang. When Tobias passes Zeke, his friend wouldn't look him in the eye.

Tris desperately grabs Lynn's arm.

"Where's Will?"

Lynn wrestles out of her grasp and Tris looks as if she's been slapped.

"He's not here. He's at Erudite."

/

Three vials of truth serum. A whole crowd of Dauntless and Candor watching, waiting, judging. Uriah goes first, giving his testimony with dead eyes. Tris goes second, falling to shreds as she recounts killing Christina. Tobias goes last. The serum is heavy inside him, pulling at his brain. But it's not irresistible and he discovers he can fight back.

"State your name."

"Four."

Niles gives him a look from judge stand.

"State your full name."

Again, he feels the serum pulling at his mouth like threads, coercing the words out of him, but his willpower is stronger. He clamps his mouth shut and doesn't say anything for a full minute. The Candor in the room look at one another with curiosity over his ability to resist the serum. When he makes eye contact with Tris across the room, she shakes her head with a stern expression, like she did back when he was doing too well at target practice. Slowly, he lets out the breath he was holding and decides he would test his serum-fighting powers some other time, when his conviction wasn't on the line.

"My name is Tobias Eaton."

Gasps across the court room. And thus, the secret is out.

/

They all get exonerated for their crimes. But it does nothing to exonerate their guilt.

After the trial, Tris goes walks up to Christina's family and drops down to her knees in front of them. She keeps kneeling until Christina's sister finally helps her up.

/

"It doesn't make sense. Why would Will go to Erudite?"

"All the traitor Dauntless are at Erudite."

"But Will is not a traitor. He's nothing like Eric."

They're all sitting in bunks dragged into a circle. Tobias, Tris, Zeke, Lynn, Uriah, Marlene. Lynn still hasn't forgiven him, but at least she doesn't constantly hold him at gunpoint. Zeke looks up at the mention of the Eric.

"Where is that bastard anyway?"

"Held prisoner with the factionless."

Tris lies down horizontally across the bed so that her head hangs over the edge of the mattress. Her hair pools on the ground beneath her.

"The factionless are stronger and more numerous than we think. Everything we were told about them is false. Maybe…maybe Dauntless should ally with them?"

Tobias knows what she's trying to do. She's casually planting the idea before officially making the suggestion, hoping to gain a consensus. But it backfires when everyone laughs. Uriah leans over and playfully flicks Tris's upside-down forehead.

"An alliance with the factionless? Don't be ridiculous."

/

It happens when Tobias is in the cafeteria with Zeke. Hector runs into the room, panting, and tugs on Tobias's arm urgently.

"She's back! My sister's back!"

Dauntless and Candor alike bolt out of their seats and sprint down to the first floor to find Shauna, Will, and Will's sister Cara. Will is carrying Shauna and Tobias feels a large lump form in his throat. That means she can't walk. He did that to her. But before he can say anything—apologize profusely, promise to not let anyone harm her ever again—the Dauntless are screaming at Will.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

Will sets Shauna down on a bench and turns to the angry mob.

"Guys, calm down. I was spying on the Erudite with my sister. What, you didn't think I was a traitor, did you?"

The crowd goes quiet. Zeke gives him a sheepish smile and claps him on the back.

"Uh…nah man, we're just messing with you. Of course we didn't think you were a traitor…"

Cara steps in, interrupting the hasty reunion.

"Never mind that. We came to warn you that the Erudite are planning an attack on the factionless tonight and there isn't much time!"

Once again, the crowd is silent. The urgency in Cara's voice seems largely unmerited. Tobias looks between the three Erudite escapees with confusion.

"Why does that concern us? We haven't allied with the factionless, not yet anyway."

Cara and Shauna both share a look of exasperation. Will comes up and grabs Tobias by the shoulders, forcefully shaking him with every word.

"Tris is leading a group to meet up with factionless rebels. Right. This. Moment."

/

They arrive too late.

Tris had brought several Dauntless—including Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn—to meet her parents and the factionless army in the safehouse. Their plan was to congregate and then go to the top of the Hancock building to spy on the Erudite. Unfortunately, the Erudite got word of this plan and scheduled an attack on the safehouse. They didn't know how the Erudite knew of the plan or how they knew of the safehouse location; could there was a spy among the factionless? Fortunately, the Dauntless had spies of their own.

By the time the loyal Dauntless arrived, the safehouse was filled with motionless bodies. Four rushed to inspect the bodies and noticed all had a weird blue mark somewhere on their body, as if they had been shot with bullets of ink. He called out to the others.

"They're alive! Just unconscious."

As they made their rounds through the rooms, it became apparent some people were missing. Zeke walks up to Tobias, eyes wide with fear.

"Where's Uriah?"

Tobias looks back with the same expression.

"Where's Tris?"

And then another unsettling realization—it's the Divergent that are missing. A gunshot rings out from one of the back rooms.

Tobias is the first to reach the room. And the scene inside  _ruins_ him. Traitor Dauntless guards surround a group of Dauntless, Candor, and factionless rebels who are kneeling in rows. They also have the blue marks on their arms, yet they are conscious. He presumes the Erudite used this blue serum injection to weed out the Divergent and herd them here like cattle. But worse, a small Divergent boy lay dead at the front of the row with a bullet wound to the head. But worst, Peter stands with his gun pointed directly at Tris because she is next in line to be executed. Tobias doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what to think. He is paralyzed with fear. The guards have yet to notice his entrance, so he must take advantage of this situation. He reaches for his gun, then he feels the dagger in his pocket.

Peter cocks his gun and fires.

Tris twists out of the way just in time and knocks his hand so he shoots a traitor Dauntless instead.

Peter turns back to Tris, raises his hand to hit head with the handle of the gun.

Four throws the dagger and hits Peter straight in the chest.

/

After all the loyal Dauntless arrive, the traitors flee like cowards. They took Eric back with them, along with Caleb Prior. In retaliation, the loyal Dauntless take Peter as a prisoner of war. The safehouse is no longer safe, so all the factionless are reassigned to other safehouses around the city and the remaining Abnegation seek refuge in Amity. Tris insists on bringing her parents back to Candor headquarters, but Andrew, being the perfectly selfless Abnegation leader that he is, goes with the rest of his faction to Amity. Her mother, however, does go to Candor and on the train back, Natalie tends to Peter's knife wound while he screams bloody murder. Tris and Tobias watch the scene and she turns to him with a half-smile.

"Nice shot. That's what he gets for making you throw knives at Shauna in practice that day, huh?"

But he is in no mood for half-hearted jokes.

"You didn't even bring a gun with you?"

"…I haven't been able to hold a gun since Christina."

"Why didn't you tell me? And why didn't you tell me about this mission?"

"I—"

"Your parents put you up to this, right?"

"Yes, but—"

"Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

" _Because I don't want you to get hurt, Tobias!"_

Her eyes are fierce and wet with tears and just as beautiful as that night on the Ferris wheel. She calls him by his real name. She has a bruise across her left cheek and she flinches when he ghosts his thumb across it. He softens and pulls her towards him, cradling her head against his chest.

"Who's protecting whom here, Tris?"

/

Once they're back at Candor, they finally face their demons.

"Shauna, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't."

She has a wheelchair now, but she looks at him with the presence of someone who's ten feet tall.

"It wasn't your fault, Four. We were under the simulation. If anything, I should be the one apologizing for misjudging the Divergent. If it wasn't for you guys, none of us would be here."

"But I didn't have to shoot you. I could have saved you like Uriah saved Marlene."

"Maybe. But at least I'm still alive, right?"

They both turn to look across the room where Tris is talking with Will. She's crying and it looks like he's crying too and Shauna's right because at least she's still alive. Because Christina will never, ever come back.

Then, out of nowhere, Will pulls out a gun and points it at Tris's head.

Before Shauna can stop him, Tobias is racing towards Tris and Will. Lynn and Marlene rush up to grab his arms and hold him back.

"He's not gonna shoot."

"How do you know?!"

Marlene gives him a smile that doesn't quite reach her hollow eyes.

"Because Will is Tris's friend."

Lynn gives him a sharper look that pierces his conscience, all  _five_ of them.

"Friends don't shoot friends."

They watch the standoff between Will and Tris. After a few seconds that felt like eternity, Will lowers the gun and lets it fall to the floor with a loud clang.

/

"There's something else."

"What's wrong, Shauna?"

"It's Lauren. She wouldn't come with us when we escaped."

/

After the attack, Jack Kang calls for a meeting and asks for all the Divergents to step forward. Tris, Tobias, Uriah, Natalie, and several Candor rise. In the end, Jack announces that he will schedule a meeting with Jeanine Matthews in hopes of reaching some sort of ceasefire or peace treaty. In the end, his intentions are clear.

He will do what it takes to keep Candor out of the war even if it means delivering the Divergent on a silver platter.

/

Tobias knew he'd run out of luck eventually. After his confession at trial, everyone knew he chose Dauntless to escape his father, which made him the one thing Dauntless despises most of all: a coward.

At first it was whispers. Then snide remarks behind his back. Finally, one day at lunch, it escalated to one of the Dauntless boys in his initiate class walking straight up to him and saying it in his face.

"Coward."

The cafeteria goes silent. Tobias slowly stands from his seat, anger rising within him like heat waves. It takes a lot of willpower to keep his voice calm and level.

"I. Am. Not. A. Coward."

"Sure. Not anymore because he's dead."

He throws the first punch before he even realizes it. They're fighting for about half a minute and someone is screaming for them to stop but he doesn't listen, when Tris suddenly squeezes her way in between them, catching him off-guard. He doesn't have time to stop his fist from colliding into her ribcage, a blow meant for the stupid bully behind her. She takes a step back in shock and presses a hand to her side in pain. His heart stops beating altogether.

Oh god.

He just hit her.

_What has he fucking done?_

The Dauntless boy snickers and is about to make a rude comment when Tris whips around and glares at him. The former trainer still intimidates the boy who promptly shuts up and walks away. Tris turns back to Tobias with a wounded expression and disappointment written all over her face. She storms away without a word and he doesn't go after her, just stands there and feels his world shatter.


	5. Lying

That night, he goes to the Dauntless headquarters alone. The compound is hauntingly empty and his footsteps echo throughout the halls. He makes his way to the fear landscape room, turns on the simulation, and injects the serum into his neck. He has to know if it's changed since Marcus died.

Heights. Confinement. It's not until the third fear that there's change. He's still holding the gun to an innocent girl's head, but this time she's not nameless or faceless. She's  _Tris._ Usually, he would kill the girl because he knew it wasn't real, just turn his head away and shoot her. But he can't do that now. Not to Tris, never to Tris. She stares at him with defenseless eyes. And so, he takes a lesson from Tris's book and points the gun up to his own head and shoots himself instead.

Finally, the fourth fear. He's back in his Abnegation house, but there's no Marcus now. Just an empty house. He's relieved that his dead father still doesn't torment his fears, but he's confused what new fear replaced it. Fear of loneliness? Fear of abandonment? As he takes a step, he realizes that his legs feel a little off, like they're heavier somehow. He looks down and finds his body thicker than normal. Then he notices the grey hair on his arms and the wrinkles on his old hands and the watch on his wrist. He never wears watches. A dreadful realization settles in and he races to the bathroom and presses the button to uncover the mirror.

There, in the reflection, Marcus stares back.

/

Natalie is waiting for him near the entrance of Merciless Mart when he returns from Dauntless. It's a conversation he'd rather not have, apologizing to his girlfriend's mother for punching her daughter. To his surprise, Natalie doesn't talk about the cafeteria incident at all.

"I need your help."

He's taken aback by her statement. Abnegation never ask for help; they only give it.

"…what for?"

"Jack Kang's meeting with Jeanine is tomorrow and Dauntless rebels are planning to go spy. I need you to convince Beatrice to not go."

Tobias scoffs.

"With all due respect, no one can stop Tris from doing what she wants, least of all me."

She sighed and gave a small wistful smile.

"I guess that's true. She got those stubborn genes from me. Just…look after her, okay?"

She's about to turn away and leave but he calls out and stops her. There's something else that's been bugging him in the back of his mind.

"Why don't you think I'm good enough for your daughter?"

The question makes her freeze and she hesitates before responding.

"Tobias, your father was a good friend and a great leader. He sacrificed his life to save my husband and—"

"You think I'm  _lying_? You think I'm pathetic enough to lie about my father abusing me and my mother to the point that it drove both of us out of Abnegation?"

"I simply think the Marcus Eaton I knew would never do such a thing."

"Well, I'm so sorry he wasn't available to testify at trial."

He doesn't mean to snap at Natalie but he couldn't help it. Candor Tobias will not stand to be called a liar and Abnegation Tobias will not have his sixteen years of suffering be discredited. Before she can respond, Tobias walks to the stairs and runs up to the Dauntless floor. It's been the shittiest day so far.

/

As they're sitting on her bunk, he lifts the hem of Tris's shirt and sees the start of a giant bruise forming on her side. The sight is all too familiar to the bruises on his own body when he was a child. He apologizes approximately a thousand times and tells her about his two new fears. (He doesn't tell her about his conversation with Natalie.) When he mentions the fear of becoming Marcus, she adamantly starts shaking her head, all anger from earlier dissipating into the air. She climbs into his lap and holds his face in both hands.

"Do you know what I see in your eyes?"

"Stupidity?"

"I see remorse. I see guilt and pain. Do you think Marcus ever felt that?"

She kisses him, hard and passionate, and he hopes she can taste the remorse on his lips. He can taste the sadness on hers.

"I will never, ever hurt you again, Tris."

"I know."

What she means is: fuck up again and it's over.

/

The next morning, they all prepare to roll out for the meeting with Jeanine. He notices Tris is wearing eyeliner, has been ever since they arrived at Candor, and a sleeveless top and bares all her tattoos. She looks more Dauntless than usual. He wonders if that's the point.

What no one saw coming was Jeanine ditching the meeting entirely and sending Max instead. On behalf of Jeanine, the traitor Dauntless leader gave three demands: return Peter, hand over the Divergent, and give a list of all the people who were not injected with the blue serum. From Tobias's vantage point beneath the bridge, he sees Jack's facial expression and he knows it's a lost cause. Jack is going to give in.

Then Lynn shoots Max and that's the end of that conversation.

/

It's apparent they're running out of time. Candor will ally with Erudite sooner or later, so Dauntless needs to elect new leadership, return to their own compound, and deal with Peter before Candor can use him as a negotiation prawn.

Tris gets nominated almost immediately along with Tori and Harrison. Is this why Tris has been wearing so much eyeliner? To prove herself Dauntless enough? Four gets nominated as well, but he turns it down. People like them don't belong in leadership, remember? He wonders when that changed for Tris.

(Later, he finds out it's because she still wants to forge an alliance with the factionless. But Tori and Harrison overrule it because they think Dauntless can bring down Erudite alone. Tobias doesn't know which side he's on.)

/

The trial for Peter is hurried and hushed before the Candor can find out and stop them. Throughout the whole thing, Peter does not argue or defend his innocence. He simply sits and accepts defeat. It's jaunting watching him like this, pale and sickly with no malicious tint in his eyes. They find him guilty and Tris is the one who has to execute him. As she stands before him, arm shaking, finger on the trigger, Peter says something that shocks every Dauntless in the room.

"I'm sorry."

Tris's breathing hitches and she narrows her eyes in confusion.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for how awful I treated you during initiation. I'm sorry I got caught up in this mess with Erudite. I wish I wasn't the person that I am."

Her hand is shaking even more now and she has to hold the gun with both hands, but it's still not enough. She can't do it. Her eyes are tearing up but she's willing herself not to cry in front of everyone. Tobias's heart hurts for her. Beside him, Uriah taps his arm and leans in to whisper.

"What's wrong with Tris?"

"She hasn't been able to hold a gun since she shot Christina."

He doesn't realize Will is standing behind them and overheard this exchange until Will is pushing Tobias and Uriah aside, walking into the center of the interrogation room. Tris looks up at him, startled, but Will just takes the gun from her trembling hands and takes her place before Peter. Murmurs rise from the Dauntless crowd. A leader couldn't even properly execute a war criminal? Will silences the room with a loud  _hey!_

"Tris is not weak. She's just a better person than all of us."

Then Will kills Peter and turns away to envelop Tris in a hug. In that moment, she is truly forgiven and the two best friends hold each other, mourning the girl who will never, ever come back.

/

They return to Dauntless Compound, running and hollering, and it really is a lot better filled with people and energy. They pass out paintball guns to shoot at the security cameras but end up shooting each other. Tobias tried to stay out of the impromptu paintball fight in the Pit but then Marlene gets him on the back of the head and he's lost in the colorful battle. At least Marlene's smiling, he thinks. At least they're all smiling. Hours later, Tris is dragging him to her old room and grabbing the front of his shirt to yank him down to meet her lips and she tastes only a little bit like paint and he dares to hope that maybe things are finally going up.

/

(That turns out to be a brutally false hope.)

/

Late one night, the lights to the initiates' dorm where Tobias is currently staying get turned on, waking everyone.

"It's another simulation! They're at the Pit."

Without another word, he runs to the center of the Pit. A circle of Dauntless can be seen standing with blank stares. Marlene, Lynn, Tori, Harrison, and four others. At first it seems like a random sample, then Four realizes they're all Tris's friends. Finally, he makes the connection that these are all the people that went with Tris to the factionless the night of the attack. They all have blue splotches on their arms. The Erudite inside him wants to punch himself for not figuring it out sooner.

"The blue injection is an upgraded simulation serum!"

A crowd of unaffected Dauntless has gathered around. Uriah is beside himself trying to Marlene to snap out of it while Will and Shauna take turns screaming at Lynn. Tris herself runs into the scene with her mother. All at once, the eight Dauntless under the simulation open their mouths and speak in haunting unison:

" _I have a message for Beatrice Prior. This is not a negotiation. It is a warning."_

Tobias stares at all of them, slowly spinning in a circle.  _I_ have a message, they said. They are not speaking. No, their voices are simply borrowed to amplify someone else's words. Jeanine's words.

" _You have two days to deliver yourself to Erudite headquarters. If not, your brother will die."_

Then it's over.

/

Natalie pulls him aside again during breakfast and leads him to a secluded hallway. He knows exactly what she's going to say so he cuts her off before she even opens her mouth.

"I already told you, I won't be able to talk Tris out of it once her mind is made up. She won't listen to me any more than she listens to you."

"Then lock her in a room, tie her up, drug her. You just can't let her go to Erudite, no matter what. They'll kill her."

Something about the level of desperation in her voice is highly suspicious. More and more, he is getting the feeling that Natalie Prior is the one who is lying, or at least keeping a huge secret from everyone, including Tris.

"Wait a minute. What about Caleb? Don't you care about him at all?"

"You don't understand, but you're just going to have to trust me on this. Beatrice is more important. This is bigger than Erudite or Dauntless or factionless, this is bigger than all of us."

She hands him a small, thin medical syringe filled with a clear liquid. A sedative.

/

When he returns to the mess hall, his table is empty. Both Tris and Will are gone. Shauna wheels herself up to him in a hurry.

"Where have you been, Four? Everyone's up on the Pire's roof. Marlene is gonna jump!"

He races up the stairs to the Pire and jams the button to the elevator. When he arrives, he sees Marlene standing at the edge of the roof. Lynn, Uriah, Tris, Will, and Zeke surround her a safe distance away, scared of accidentally pushing her off if they try to grab her. Tobias looks at Marlene on the ledge, her long blonde hair billowing in the breeze. She's strikingly beautiful and tragically suicidal. She stands facing them with those hollow eyes. Eventually, she speaks and this time, her words aren't the monotone echo of Jeanine Matthews; they are all Marlene, broken and jaded.

"They can't make me kill any more innocent people or use me against you anymore. I will  _not_ be their stupid puppet."

"Marlene, please, don't be irrational. We will get through this. Please come down."

"Don't you get it?! It will never be over. With this blue serum, we will never be free. They can enslave us at any second. I can't fight the simulation. I'm not Divergent, so I have to be defiant my own way."

Just like that, she leans backwards and disappears over the ledge. Lynn screams. Tris screams. Uriah runs to ledge and leans over and screams. The three of them scream until their voices are hoarse and their throats are raw. Ultimately, Will has to help Lynn down to the compound and Zeke has to pry Uriah away from the ledge and Tobias has to carry Tris because she's too lifeless to walk on her own.

"It's all my fault. Jeanine wants  _me_ and she used them to get to me and now Marlene is dead…"

She buries her face in the crook of his neck. And he knows, without a doubt, that she will try to go to Erudite tonight. Because she is Dauntless brave and Abnegation selfless and that is a deadly combination.

Fortunately, he is also both those things.

/

He seeks out Cara in the dorm.

"You were spying on Erudite, right? Why does Jeanine want Tris?"

"She hates how Divergents are immune to the simulation serum. She needs to experiment on one of you to develop a stronger serum, one that no one can resist."

"Okay, but why Tris specifically?"

"I don't think there's a reason, it's just Jeanine happens to have her brother hostage."

"So, she doesn't necessarily need Tris. She just needs a Divergent test rat."

"Yes…why? Are you going to do something stupid, Four?"

/

He goes to her room that night and she weakly smiles at him, like she knew he was going to come.

"I'm not going to turn myself in, Tobias."

"Sure. Can I stay here tonight?"

She walks up to him and wraps her arms around his neck.

"You can always stay here."

Then she's kissing him more hungrily than she's ever kissed him before and he boldly picks her up and carries her to the bed. He slips a hand underneath her shirt and to his surprise, she doesn't pull away. To his even greater surprise, she raises her arms so he can lift the shirt over her head and then she yanks his shirt off too. They're sloppy and clumsy and falling over each other beneath the sheets but it's perfect. He feels slightly guilty because he doesn't want their first time to be the night before he deceives her and turns himself in to Erudite. He doesn't want their first time to be tinted with grief for Marlene or fear of upcoming death. But if there's going to be a first time at all, it has to be now, because his days left alive are numbered.

It's astonishing how far she's willing to go, but it's probably because she thinks she is about to die and never see him again. Ironically enough, he's kissing and touching and pushing into her with the same audacity because he thinks the same about his own fate.

_Una duos nox perdet amantes._

/

Hours pass and they're lying in bed, both pretending to be asleep. He waits for her to make her escape.

When she tries to pull his arm from her waist to get out of bed, he tightens his grasp, pulling her flush against him. The action is so sudden she gasps. With his other hand, he reaches for the syringe he had surreptitiously placed between the side of the mattress and the wall earlier in the evening.

"You said you weren't going to turn yourself in, Tris."

She shivers from his words and tries to wrestle out of his grasp but for once, he's stronger.

"I can't let them kill Caleb. I have to go."

"No, you don't. Erudite doesn't want  _you_. They just want a Divergent."

She stops struggling at his words.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying it shouldn't be you. You have your family. You're a Dauntless leader. You matter. I should be the one to go. I don't have anyone."

"You have  _me_! You matter to  _me_."

"I know. I love you, Tris. And I'm so sorry."

In one swift motion, he sits up and injects the syringe to her neck vein. She violently wriggles against him, but soon her body goes slack. He gets out of bed, gets dressed, and places one last kiss on her forehead before walking out the door and locking it behind him. As he sneaks out of Dauntless headquarters in the dead of night and begins his walk to Erudite, he hopes they really do kill him after the serum experiments because if he somehow makes it out of this alive, Tris will certainly murder him herself.


	6. Dying

Eric is the one who comes down to the Erudite lobby to fetch him and when he sees that the Divergent volunteer is Four, his face lights up like the day of their first fight during initiation. Who would have thought that in the end, Eric wins?

/

In the cell, waiting is torture. He has no idea how much time passes but he plays a game of guessing what's happening back at Dauntless. Now, Tris wakes up to an empty bed. Now, everyone realizes what he's done. Now, he proves himself to Natalie Prior. Now, the Dauntless leaders discuss what to do. He can only pray to every god he doesn't believe in that Tori and Harrison will overrule whatever crazy rescue mission Tris wants to put together.

Finally, Eric opens the cell door and leads him to an interrogation room with Jeanine Matthews.

"Hello again, Tobias. I must say I am surprised to see you instead of Beatrice."

He has no patience for her bullshit formalities.

"Promise you will free Caleb Prior. You wanted a Divergent and now you have one. Hold up your end of the deal."

"First of all, there was never any deal. Second, I never agreed to free him; now that you're here, I simply won't kill him. Third, how do you know he isn't here on his own free will in the first place? And fourth, I recall asking for Ms. Prior."

"You're bluffing. And as for Tris, who needs her? I got all five test results remember? I'm as Divergent as you can get."

"I can see that. You speak like a Candor."

Jeanine mulls it over and he can practically see the clean-cut cogs turning in her head. She motions for Eric.

"Alright, take him to the MRI."

/

He's on the train with his mother. Edward is standing a few feet away and the other factionless are spread out in the train car. Evelyn smiles at him.

"I'm sorry I left, Tobias. I was going to take you with me, but I realized you would be safer in Abnegation. But now you're in Dauntless and so strong. I'm so proud of you, honey."

"I don't know if I belong there. Ever since the Erudite—"

"Listen to the Erudite. They're here to help."

He blinks a few times. Evelyn saying something good about Erudite? This can't be real. He peers closer at his mother's face and then it hits him.

"You died, Mother. And this isn't real."

/

Days pass like this. He gets poked and prodded and Eric walks him back and forth between the rooms like a personal escort. After the first day, Eric stops grinning because he discovers his job isn't as fun as he thought it would be. By the third day, Tobias is almost convinced Eric feels  _bad_ for him.

"Your execution is scheduled in two weeks."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Eric just shrugs. After he drops Tobias off at the cell and locks the door, Tobias realizes that Eric is the closest thing to a friend he has here. And if  _Eric_ is the least of all evils, then that must really say something about the place.

/

When he next enters the experiment room, Jeanine is accompanied by none other than Caleb. Tobias blanches when he sees him. Jeanine smirks.

"Ah, didn't I tell you Caleb was here willingly?"

He stares at Caleb with his stupid glasses on his face and the clean blue of his outfit.

"You're a  _traitor_?!"

"Now, now, I needed someone to keep an eye on the Abnegation and factionless, didn't I? Who do you think informed me of the date and time of the rendezvous with Dauntless? Now excuse me for a second, I seemed to have left the serum samples behind. Caleb, get him prepped."

As Jeanine left the room, Tobias stared up at Caleb in sheer menace.

"You betrayed your own family again? What if we didn't get to the safehouse in time to save everyone? You would have aided in the execution of your own sister and mother."

"I did what I had to do! Jeanine sent me to be a spy. And you don't know the truth. Tris doesn't even know. Our father used to be Erudite and used to be friends with Jeanine. Jeanine sees my potential and she cares about me."

"You can't be serious. You do realize that Jeanine threatened to kill you to get Tris to come here. You do realize that your mother was willing to do anything to keep Tris from coming here, even if it meant losing you. Do you see how expendable and unimportant you are?"

It's evident Caleb didn't know these things because his face is red with anger. But then he's stabbing Tobias with a syringe and everything goes to black.

/

He awakes to a loud explosion. He's still lying in the experiment room but Caleb is gone. The door lock gets shot off by a machine gun and Tris bursts into the room. His saving grace rescuing him one more time. She hastily removes the straps around his wrists and yanks him down to the floor and it's like being pulled off the net the day of the Choosing Ceremony all over again.

"Hurry!"

They race through the corridors hand in hand. Soon, traitor Dauntless are chasing after them and Tris presses him against a wall while she shoots at the guards around the corner. They run and run and run and only until they reach the exit does it register in his brain. Tris beckons him to follow her outside, but he stands still.

"You haven't been able to hold a gun since you killed Christina, Tris. This isn't real."

/

The next time Eric opens the cell, something is notably off. Eric is quieter and more furtive. As they round a corner, he turns his head to mutter to Tobias.

"They're going to execute you today."

"I thought I still had a week."

"They moved it up. The Dauntless and factionless are storming Erudite today."

Up until this point, Tobias had been willing to die. He had come to terms with his life and was ready to die for a noble cause. Except, was there even a noble cause in the first place? There is a war before his death and there will still be a war after. Innocent lives are still going to be lost. So then, wasn't this all for nothing?

Jeanine is waiting for him inside the execution room along with several other Erudite milling around. The vial of death serum awaits on a silver tray. They force him to lay down on a cold metal table because he doesn't even get the luxury of a cot or a chair—they're killing him directly on the autopsy table. That's Erudite for you. Quick, methodical, efficient.

"Any last words, Tobias Eaton?"

"You've accomplished nothing this whole week I was here and you will never be able to control the Divergent and that terrifies you."

Jeanine glares at him, outraged, her neck vein threatening to burst. Tobias simply laughs.

"So Jeanine, does that mean I win?"

She turns away in a huff and signals for an Erudite to administer the death serum. The liquid is like lead inside him, ten times heavier than the truth serum. He can't move, every limb goes numb and he feels his heart slow until…nothing.

And yet—

He can fight it.

He is still alive.

His heart stopped beating and his lungs stopped breathing yet he is still alive. He can feel the death serum pulling at him from the inside, oozing over his bones like molasses, but he's not ready to die damn it! He concentrates on staying alive and focuses on the bright light on the ceiling and racks his brain for a way out.

Jeanine peers at his unmoving body and waves a finger beckoning Eric over.

"Take him to the examiner's room. I want an autopsy on his brain."

As Eric comes to the head of the table and starts wheeling Tobias out of the room, Tobias starts to regain control of his muscles. Just make it out of the room, he thinks. He holds his breath and dares not move. Luckily, Jeanine doesn't look at him again and why would she? Why would anyone ever expect someone to unprecedentedly resist the death serum?

He waits until Eric has wheeled him out of the room and down the next hall before he finally gasps for breath. Eric immediately stops and jumps back in shock.

"What the fuck?!"

Tobias's arms and legs still feel heavy and impossible to move. It takes all the energy he has to breathe and keep the oxygen flowing to restart his heart.

"How are you still alive?!"

"Please, Eric…please help me."

Tobias is begging with a raspy voice, trying to reach his hand out to Eric but only managing to toss his lifeless limb over across his body. He witnesses the struggle on Eric's face. The traitor Dauntless looks back towards the execution room where Jeanine is and then looks down at Tobias. And there's literally nothing Tobias can do at this point; he can't even get his arm back to his side. His life is completely in the hands of the boy who once tried to throw him into the Chasm. Surely somewhere, under those piercings and tattoos, must be at least an ounce of mercy.

Then, the doors at the end of the hallway get kicked open by an entourage of rebels. Tris stands front and center and she cries out in anguish the second she sees Tobias. Behind her, Zeke, Will, Cara, and Natalie all raise their guns straight at Eric, who quickly raises his hands in alarm.

"No, don't shoot! He's alive! Four's still alive!"

He still can't move properly, so he can only call out Tris's name in a weak whisper. Natalie steps forward and opens a door to an empty room.

"We're not safe out here. Quick, everyone inside."

Eric accidentally pushes the table too fast so that it collides with a wall inside the room and Tobias unceremoniously falls onto the floor. Zeke and Will help pull him up and sits him down on the autopsy table. Before Tobias can lose his balance and fall backwards, Zeke holds him in a tight hug.

"Shit man, you really had us scared."

A microsecond later, Zeke is forcefully shoved away and he is replaced by a smaller body who launches herself at Tobias, knocking the little air he has out of him.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

She's sobbing into his shirt. He smiles and sloppily wraps his leaden arms around her waist.

"I know."

She leans back and punches him hard in the arm. And he can't help but laugh because now he knows for sure this is real.

/

"Dauntless and factionless forces are storming Erudite headquarters as we speak. The few Abnegation and Amity who Andrew got to come are doing their best to help. If nothing else, at least they can get in the Erudite's way."

Natalie is explaining the current situation, but Tobias balks at her words. He awkwardly shuffles to the window of the room (still trying to get feeling back in his legs) and peers down at the street. Rows of Candor under simulation stand guard, ready to shoot the oncoming Dauntless and factionless army, but the colorful Amity and grey Abnegation stand between the two like a human barrier. This war really is something. He turns back to Natalie.

"So are you finally going to tell us your secret? What did the Erudite steal that is so important, so much bigger than all of us?"

"It's a video. I can't say much else, but Abnegation was entrusted with the file and we were supposed to release it to the city when it was time, but Jeanine doesn't want anyone to see it. We need to get that video back, before the war destroys everything."

Abnegation was  _entrusted_ with the file, she said. It doesn't go unnoticed by Tobias. Entrusted by whom? It's starting to seem like the city is but a microcosm of a greater realm where mightier beings intervene.

Cara perks up, adjusting her glasses.

"Erudite uses a data network, so we could probably access the video on any computer as long as we can get through security. There's a control room one floor down, let's go."

They file out of the room. Tobias and Eric are the last to leave and Tobias turns to his former fellow initiate with raised eyebrows.

"Why did you help me?"

"I don't know."

"Finally figured out you were on the wrong side?"

Eric shrugged, then looked at him with something that almost resembled fear.

"They're gonna execute all the Erudite and allied Dauntless after the war, aren't they?"

Tobias nods. Suddenly, Eric is grabbing him by the front of his shirt and slamming his back against the war. All fear is gone from his face and replaced with the usual threatening malice.

"I save your sorry ass now, so you save my ass later. Got it, Four?"

Eric releases him and opens the door, dashing away down the hall in the opposite direction. Tobias watches his go and quickly joins the rest of the group down the stairs.

/

Will and Cara have barely sat down at the chairs before the control room computers before Caleb bursts into the room, wielding a gun he obviously doesn't know how to hold correctly. Tris and Natalie both step forward, as if ready to embrace him, but Tobias holds mother and daughter back.

"He's a traitor. He was Jeanine's spy the whole time."

Natalie gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. Tris takes a second to take in the fact that her brother had betrayed her yet again, and then charges at him again, as if ready to beat him to a pulp. This second time, Tobias doesn't hold her back. She punches him square in the jaw, just like last time, and he falls to the floor. She picks up his gun and presses the barrel at his chest, so hard he winces.

"You are  _nothing_ to me anymore."

She turns away, tossing the gun onto a table. She still hasn't gotten over her aversion of guns, but for a split second there, Tobias swears her hand didn't even shake. Zeke moves over to stand guard over Caleb. The tense moment is broken by Cara.

"I can't get past security!"

"You won't find it here."

The words come from Caleb, on the floor. He wipes some blood from his mouth and sits up, raising his hands in surrender when Zeke points his gun at him.

"Whatever you're looking for, Jeanine won't keep it on the common computers."

Tobias thinks back to the experiment room and the large computer desktop Jeanine kept in the laboratory. He turns to the group.

"Of course. It's on her personal computer and I know where it is."

/

Cara stays behind in the control room to disable Erudite's monitoring of the other factions. Zeke also stays behind with Caleb to make sure he doesn't tattle on them again. Tobias, Tris, Will, and Natalie climb the stairs back up to the floor of the laboratory. There sre only a few guards around and they shoot them down easily; it seems most of the traitor Dauntless forces are downstairs in combat. They don't run into any trouble until they go up the final flight of stairs and run into Edward alongside two factionless soldiers, causing them to all freeze in their tracks. If Edward is here, that means the rebels have already taken command of the building and are taking over the floors one by one. That means they don't have much time.

Edward gives them a one-eyed smirk.

"What do we have here? It looks like an unauthorized mission to me."

Tobias tentatively steps forward.

"Edward. We need to get to Jeanine's computer."

"No one is going anywhere. Jeanine will be killed and then this whole building will be burned down."

"You have to let us get a file from her computer first."

"You're either with us or against us. Which will it be?"

It's so dangerous thinking in black and white like that, for people are not either good or evil, either friend or foe. Between the two extremes lies an infinity.

Tris steps before Tobias and swiftly kicks the gun out of Edward's hands. Immediately, a fight breaks out. Both sides open fire on short range. Edward still nurses a bullet wound from the day of the attack on Abnegation when they stormed Dauntless, so he doesn't put up much of a fight, but the other two are strong and relentless. Tobias, who can now at least walk right but who still can't form a fist with his hands, feels rather useless since his almost-dead body can't help the fight. Will shoots Edward, killing him, before a hit from one of the factionless sends him to the ground. Soon, everyone is disarmed and Tris, Will, and the two factionless brawl in hand-to-hand combat.

Taking this as an opportunity to break into the lab, Natalie pulls Tobias's arm, leading him up the stairs. He doesn't want to leave Tris behind, but time is desperately of the essence here, so he follows Natalie up and shows her the way to the experiment room.

However, there's  _two_ doors when they arrive and he doesn't remember which the correct one is. Natalie goes up to inspect the two doors.

"According to Cara, Jeanine installed a special security simulation so only a Divergent can get past."

"Good thing we're both Divergent then."

He opens the left and she opens the right and they enter. At first, it's only an empty room, but then the lights come on and an automated, feminine voice comes in through the speakers:

" _Tobias Eaton, seventh generation. Faction of origin: Abnegation. Selected faction: Dauntless. Confirmed Divergent. Status: Intruder. You have five minutes to reach the blue door before the poison will kick in."_

"Come again?"

But the disembodied voice offers no further explanation, so he sprints towards the door, wary of the poisonous mist that had settled in the room. Unexpectedly, a boy materializes out of thin air to block him, a boy that looks unbelievably like  _him_. He skids to a halt as he studies his doppelganger. This must be Jeanine's security defense then.

He makes a break towards the right, but the other Tobias meets his move, punching him in the stomach and sending him stumbling back. Granted, it  _is_ offsetting having to fight yourself, pitting the same strengths against strengths. But it also means Tobias knows this simulation's weaknesses. Because he is used to seeing multiple versions of himself from his fear landscape, and he knows that somewhere inside that other Tobias is his Abnegation self, the weakest of the five personas, the one that didn't even make it into his name Four.

Yes, he's terrified of turning into Marcus, but here it just might come in handy. He dodges another swing from other Tobias and kicks, sending the other Tobias to the ground. He unfastens his belt and holds it up like a whip. The other Tobias stares at him from the floor and visibly cowers.

"This is for your own good."

(In the back of his mind, he realizes that this is a hundred shades of psychologically demented and if he didn't have a complex before he surely has a complex now. But he didn't have time to worry about that right now.)

For a few god awful seconds, he gets caught up in the repetitive action of lashing the leather belt across the other Tobias's back. After he snaps out of it, he drops the belt like it burned his hand. He hurries to the blue door and doesn't look back at the boy's body on the floor behind him, not because he's scared of the other Tobias but because he's scared of the monster he himself was all too capable of becoming.

He rushes through the door and takes in the scene in front of him.

Jeanine Matthews, hair disheveled and hysteria in her eyes, is backed against a wall with a gun pressed against her temple, the gun held by no other than Andrew Prior.

 _Our father used to be Erudite and used to be friends with Jeanine,_ Caleb had said. Gaging from the sight before them, it's certain Andrew and Jeanine knew each other, but "friends" was really pushing it, Tobias thought.

"Look at what you've become, Jeanine. Enslaving half the population, starting a civil war, pitting friends against friends, killing hundreds of innocent and for what? Just because you're scared of Divergence."

Andrew's words were harsh. It's the most un-Abnegation Tobias has ever seen him. But the fact that Andrew Prior is here in Jeanine's laboratory, the fact that he got past the security room, must mean that he is also Divergent, so perhaps there has always been more to the man than meets the eye. In any case, it's clear that Andrew's hatred for Jeanine is so personal and so deeply-rooted that it would make him despise all things remotely connected to Erudite, even the abused teenage boy who claimed Jeanine's libel against Abnegation contained a slice of truth.

Jeanine trembles under Andrew's tight hold.

"You know, Andrew, I never forgave you for abandoning me. I know your test result was Erudite, but you left me."

"I hated the person you were becoming. But if I had known the full extent of who you'd become, that you'd be capable of  _this_ , I would have stayed in Erudite just so I could kill you sooner."

Just before Andrew could pull the trigger, Tobias tackles him to the floor. The stray bullet hits the ceiling instead.

"Tobias? What are you doing, she's getting away!"

He turns his head to see Jeanine try to reach the door, so he wrestles the gun from Andrew and shoots Jeanine's leg. She falls to the floor with a pained cry.

"I can't let you kill her, Andrew. Not yet. We need her to show us where the video is, the file that she stole from Abnegation."

"That doesn't matter. Nothing matters more than all the crimes she's committed."

In response, Jeanine laughs dryly from across the room.

"You don't actually know what's on the video, do you? Your own wife did not even trust you enough to tell you!"

Andrew makes a grab for the gun in Tobias's hand. Somewhere in the struggle, the trigger is pulled and Tobias falls back, wincing at the bullet that lodged into his shoulder. Taking this as a distraction, Andrew leaps to his feet, aims the gun at Jeanine, and pulls the trigger.

By sheer luck (good or bad, Tobias can't decide,) the gun ran out of bullets.

Shakily, Jeanine stands up, leaning against the table for support.

"You can't get rid of me, Andrew. You can never get rid of me."

And in that moment, Tobias believes Jeanine is in love with the man. After all these years, she never got over her first love, who turned out to be Divergent and left her during the Choosing Ceremony. So why did Jeanine Matthews wage war against Abnegation? Maybe underneath all the logical explanations of control and dominion and power lies a personal vendetta caused by a broken heart.

He sees Andrew's eyes flicker to the windows behind Jeanine that span the entire wall from floor to ceiling.

Tobias is up on his feet in a flash, screaming at Andrew to stop, but the older man is already charging at Jeanine. He leaps and tackles her, both of them airborne for a second, and it's her back that slams against the window and shatters the glass. Tobias races after them and reaches out his uninjured arm, grabbing a fistful of grey fabric that rips much too easily from the back of Andrew's robe.

They're gone.

Tobias falls to his knees, ignoring the shards to glass that cut into his skin. He doesn't know when Natalie and Tris end up entering the room. It might have been five minutes, it might have been an hour. When they ask him what happened, he has no words to respond. Mother and daughter carefully peer out the broken window down at the concrete below where two bodies lay at broken angles.

"Who killed Jeanine?"

It's Tris who asks the question, even though it's clear that the other body is clad in grey. Natalie presses both hands over her mouth and nose, as if she already knows.

"Tobias, who was it?!"

There are tears in Tris's eyes and she shaking Tobias by the shoulders, sending shooting pain from his gun wound, but he doesn't have the heart to tell her. He also doesn't have the heart to tell her it's exactly who she's afraid it is down on the pavement beside Jeanine Matthews. Instead, he stands up with bloody knees, holds out his fist, and drops the square of grey cloth into her hand.

/

Afterwards, Tobias waits in the lobby with Will and the Pedrad brothers. Lynn is yet another casualty that they have to tally in chalk on the wall. ("We should bury her beside Marlene," Uriah said.)

The wounded from both sides sit as one in the lobby and wait. Finally, the leaders emerge and stand at the front of the room. Tori and Harrison for Dauntless; Natalie for Abnegation; Johanna Reyes for Amity; Therese for factionless; and a slightly bewildered Jack Kang for Candor. Tori steps forward to address the crowd, but the message was clear just from the representation alone—Erudite shall be no more.

Just as Tobias and the others wonder where Tris is, she appears from the stairwell entrance, running towards the front of the room with Cara in tow. Tris cuts Tori off mid-sentence:

"There's something important we have to show you."

A projector turns on and displays a video of a woman on the giant wall behind the leaders. While everyone resituates themselves to view the video, Tris makes her way to Tobias and sits beside him.

"So you were still able to find the video?"

"Yeah, Cara helped."

"Tris, I'm sorry I wasn't able to save your dad."

"It's not your fault."

But from the way she pulls back when he reaches for her hand, he knows she hasn't fully forgiven him. Hell, she probably hasn't forgiven him for running off to Erudite yet. Maybe not even for hitting her back at the Candor cafeteria. He's starting to think he'll never make it up to her.

Then the video plays and everything becomes irrelevant.

" _Hello. My name is Amanda Ritter…"_


	7. Leaving

There’s a sack over Tobias’s head and he’s being ushered up a flight of stairs. By this point, the strangeness of the situation doesn’t even phase him anymore.

The city is a wreckage. They retrieved the video thinking it would bring justice, as if it was some godsend blessing that would heal the broken people. Instead, it unleashed a monster, tearing a new divide. No longer were they separated by factions— that didn’t matter anymore. Now the city was split in two between by those who wanted to leave and those who wanted to stay. Suddenly, the world opened up beyond the city gates, which was simultaneously liberating and terrifying.

Even the leaders are split on this issue. After the downfall of Erudite, the other leaders formed a makeshift alliance, an oligarchy of sorts. The deaths of Jeanine Matthews, Andrew Prior, Evelyn Johnson and Marcus Eaton left a void of power across the factions, a void the others were still scrambling to fill. In any case, Johanna, Natalie, and Tori were for leaving, especially after Natalie revealed Tori’s brother was still alive, but Harrison, Jack, and Therese were for staying. Tris refused to voice her opinion on the issue. In these past few days, Tobias barely got to see her for more than a few seconds at a time, so he knew very little of what she was thinking.

As for Tobias himself? Well, he figured if they were put here in this city for a purpose, they might as well find out what that purpose is. Otherwise, isn’t his whole life and everything he’s been through utterly pointless?

They stop walking and Tobias can feel a slight breeze. His guide takes the sack off his head and he sees that they are in the Candor trial room. It is dark, but the moon shines through one of the open windows. Tobias stands in a circle of other recruits whose sacks are removed one by one. Will. Cara. Zeke. Uriah. Two Candor boys. A factionless girl. Shauna. Tris.

Tris locks eyes with him for a second and Tobias lets go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. She looks tired and frail. Tobias’s heart aches and he wishes he was standing next to her in the circle.

 “What’s going on?” 

All the recruits look around the room, confused. Johanna stands at the center of the circle. Tori, Natalie, and the others who had led the recruits here now joined Johanna, standing in a sense of unity the city hasn’t seen for a while.

“We want to leave the city and you were all brought here because we think you want to leave too. We are the Allegiant. We believe in Amanda Ritter and the original cause. If they need us out there, we have a duty to help them.”

“Why are we meeting in secrecy?”

Natalie shares a look with Johanna and Tori. The three of them stand like the holy trinity, the last good thing Tobias can believe in.

“As you know, tension has been rising between the former factions and the factionless. Therese forbids the factionless from stepping out of the city. Not that most of them want to leave, anyway. They’ve fought hard for their place here and they won’t let that go so easily.”

The factionless girl scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“So many people are reluctant to leave that it will be impossible to organize a city-wide evacuation at this point. We need more assurance. That’s why we need your help. We’d like to organize a trip to the Bureau to see what it’s like out there, then report back and hopefully convince more people to leave and enter the real world.”

“So you’re saying here isn’t the _real_ world?”

Tris’s reply is sharp. Natalie cringes and half-reaches out for Tris before putting her arm down again. Evidently, mother-daughter tension has run high after Natalie came forward with the truth about how she came from outside, planted into this city to save the Divergents. Evelyn wasn’t the only mother keeping secrets around here.

It was soon decided that Tori and Natalie would lead the expedition to the Bureau, accompanied by Tobias, Will, Cara, and Uriah. The rest would remain in the city to help Johanna recruit more Allegiants and prevent Therese and the factionless from taking over.

Finally, Tobias speaks for the first time since he’s arrived.

“What about Tris?”

Again, Natalie turns to her daughter with an anxious expression, as if Tris is fragile and she’s afraid to break her.

“Beatrice, of course I want you to come along too.”

Tris glares at her mother.

“I’m not leaving.”

With a sigh, Natalie gives Tobias a dejected look before leading everyone out of the court room and back downstairs. They were instructed to exit gradually and in interspersed groups so as to not attract attention. Tobias is the last to leave and he’s surprised to find Tris at the top of the staircase waiting for him. He’d feared she had run out of patience with him.

He says hi, rather stupidly.

She says hi back, with a hint of a smile.

She takes his hand and they walk back to her room together.

* * *

They’re sitting on her bed, cross-legged, facing each other.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“For everything.”

“I know.”

“Are you really not going to leave the city with us?”

“Caleb is going on trial tomorrow. And he will be condemned and they will execute him. My father is dead, my brother is going to die, and my mother is one big lie. Where does that leave me?”

“If you really want to stay…then I’ll stay with you. Because you may only have a traitor of a brother and a lie of a mother, but _you_ are the only one I have left.”

She stares at him with wondrous, teary eyes.

“Tris, please don’t shut me out.”

Slowly, she moves closer and kisses him and he dares to hope that things are alright again.

* * *

“You’ll have to take Caleb with you out of the city.”

Natalie looks at Tobias like he’s crazy.

“Caleb? But he’s going to be executed.”

“Tris and I are going to rescue him tonight, but he won’t be safe anywhere in the city. You’ll have to take him with you when you leave tonight.”

“Okay. Of course. Thank you. Beatrice is willing to rescue Caleb? I thought she hated him.”

“She does. But she doesn’t want him to die, either.”

Natalie gives him a tight-lipped grin. It makes him wonder if she was willing to let her son die so easily.

“You know how you can make things right with Tris? You have to convince her that you care about her. That you didn’t have a family just to procreate another Divergent. That she’s more than an experiment to you.”

“She doesn’t honestly think that does she?”

He simply shrugs, then walks away. Maybe he has no right telling Natalie how to be a mother, but he’s watched enough families fall apart.

* * *

They break into Caleb’s cell.

They don’t expect Eric to be in the same cell.

While Tris roughly hoists her brother up by the shirt collar, Tobias is left with a dilemma. Eric stares up at him with a blank expression. _I save your ass now, you save my ass later._

With much hesitation, he lifts Eric to his feet as well.

* * *

The Plan: Tris and Tobias will take Caleb to the train stop and throw him into the moving train where Natalie, Tori, and the squad will already be.

The Amended Plan: Tris and Tobias will take Caleb and Eric to the train stop and throw both of them into the moving train where Natalie, Tori, and the squad will already be.

What Actually Happened: Tris and Tobias takes Caleb and Eric to the train stop and throws both of them into the moving train where Natalie, Tori, and the squad will already be. As the train passes by them like a last chance, Tris and Tobias share a look. Wordlessly, they both start running and jump onto the last car of the train. The door between the cars slides open and Uriah and Will burst in, cheering. Uriah opens his palm and Will tosses over a few coins, losing a bet on whether or not Tris and Tobias would come along after all. They all laugh.

* * *

Afterwards, they exit the city was relative ease. Some Amity catch sight of them as they walk past the farms, but they are loyal to Johanna so they don’t say anything. Too timid to join them but just curious enough to anxiously await the squad’s return. Night turns into day and they’re still marching aimlessly forward with nothing but dried dirt and ruins in sight. Everyone keeps turning to Natalie for guidance, for she’s the only one who’s ever been outside the city limits, but even Natalie can’t navigate this endless expanse of wasteland that all looks the same.

But then, they find a road. And with the road comes a car. A man with slick black hair hops out of the car even before it comes to a full stop. Tori lets out a sound something like a sob and something like a laugh. She runs at him and jumps into his open arms. He lifts her up and twirls her around, brother and sister finally reuniting after a world of misdoing. Watching them makes you believe in happy endings again.

A second man exits the car, tall and tan, watching the reunion with an amused expression. Tris gasps and tentatively approaches, like she’s uncertain if he’s real. The man laughs and reaches her in three quick strides, almost tackling her to the ground with a hug.

“Amar, you’re supposed to be dead.”

“Good to see you too, Tris.”

They pile into the car and Amar drives them all to the Bureau. Tobias eyes Amar suspiciously as the older man keeps his arm around Tris throughout the car ride. He learns that Amar used to be the trainer for Tris and Uriah’s initiate class, that he and George were Divergent, that Natalie helped them fake their deaths and escape. As they pull into the lot by the rows of buildings, Tobias can’t help imagining it as some sort of sterile, industrial heaven. Who else is here, back from the dead?

The building is large and austere. Employees and officials welcome them halfheartedly while they gawk at Natalie as if she were a ghost. A woman named Zoe meets them and leads the gang to the main control them. There’s monitors. Monitors everywhere. An entire wall is filled with monitors showing a live feed of every part of the city. There’s Johanna walking with some Amity. There’s Zeke pushing Shauna in a wheelchair. There’s the Dauntless getting into an argument over how Caleb and Eric went missing from prison.

They are being watched.

This whole time, they have been watched.

“What the fuck.”

Eric steps up to stand beside Tobias, both of them staring at the expanse of hidden camera feeds slack-jawed in awe. Put into perspective like this, they all seem so small and insignificant, their problems like child play.

“Natalie!”

Everyone turns around to watch an older man drop all the files and folders he was carrying onto the nearest table and hurry towards Natalie. He looks around her age, slightly balding, a bit of a gut. It seemed like he was going to hug Natalie, but she extended her arm to shake his hand instead.

“David.”

Her smile can only be described as polite. David laughs awkwardly to himself. Tris watches the exchange between her mother and this man with raised eyebrows.

Eventually, David explains everything. How the Bureau of Genetic Welfare was originally established to create genetically improved humans with all the ideal character traits, but that proved flawed as it only resulted in people who valued one trait above all else, the predecessors of the five factions. Then came the Purity War between the genetically damaged and the genetically pure, decimating the population. In an effort to save humanity from self-inflicted extinction, the Bureau set up experiment cities such as Chicago, the one they’ve been in, to repopulate and hopefully wash out the genetic damage through the generations.

There was something chilling and offsetting about this story. Caleb is the one who finally says it:

“So, Divergence isn’t actually special, it’s just _normal_? And everyone else is damaged?”

Natalie steps towards Caleb to console him, but he turns around and stalks out of the room. Will, Cara, and Eric also fidget uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. Tobias wants to say something, but he feels it isn’t his place, not when he’s one of the few lucky enough to be pure. He thinks it’s completely ridiculous, anyway. As if his friends were any lesser of people just because a hundred years ago, some scientists botched up their ancestors’ DNA.

* * *

Later, they’re in the makeshift dormitory, trying to sleep in this foreign place. Tobias and Tris push their cots closer together.

“What’s up with your mom and that David guy?”

“She says they used to be old friends. I don’t know why they’re acting so strangely around each other though. It’s weird hearing Mom talk about her life here, because I’d always assumed she’d grown up inside the city like me. I thought she was Dauntless and that’s how I have so much Dauntless in me. Now I don’t know anymore.”

“She couldn’t tell anyone. I’m sure she would have told you if she could.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

She drifts off to sleep soon after that, her hand dangling off the edge of the mattress, fingers entwined with his. But he stays awake, still unable to grasp the fact that these people have been watching him his whole life like gods. And what cruel, heartless gods they were. Did they watch Marcus beat him every night as a child? Did they nudge each other at their desks and point at the screen, saying there Eaton goes again? His pain was broadcasted for all to see and yet they did nothing to intervene.

A soft creak from the other side of the room. Tobias raises his head to make out the figure of Caleb getting out of his cot and sneaking out of the room. It’s not like he can escape, but Tobias follows after him just in case. He finds Caleb in front of a giant statue where water slowly drips onto a giant slab of stone. Caleb sits before it, watching the methodical dripping.

Tobias clears his throat to show his presence, then sits down with Caleb albeit a safe distance away. The older Prior sibling doesn’t look at him, but he speaks after a few moments of silence.

“My father was also Divergent, wasn’t he?”

Tobias thinks back to the standoff in Jeanine’s office, watching Andrew Prior push both of them out the window, grabbing onto the back of Andrew’s coat but not enough to save him. He nods in response to Caleb’s question.

Caleb runs his hand through his hair, leaving it in agonizing disarray. His eyebrows are knotted together and he looks like he’s about to cry. An Abnegation with an Erudite shell, hollow on the inside. Two genetically pure parents and somehow he still wound up damaged. Is this why Natalie had always been so focused on saving Tris over saving Caleb? Like he was a necessary sacrifice? Was Andrew the same way? Tobias wonders at what age Caleb realized his sister was the favorite child.

* * *

The next day, everyone splits up to wander and explore different parts of the Bureau. Natalie pulled Tris away to show remnants of her old life here at the Bureau. Tris is still more distant than before, but she has Erudite curiosity and slowly she warms back up to her mother as Natalie shares stories of her childhood that she could never tell, showing pictures of life outside the city. Caleb watches them from afar with sad eyes.

Will, Cara, and Uriah disappeared somewhere and who knows where Eric went, so Tobias walks alone for a bit until he literally runs into a man. Or rather, the man ran into him.

“Hello. You’re Tobias Eaton, correct? I’m Matthew.”

Matthew is too smart and talks a lot, so Tobias just nods and lets him carry the conversation. Matthew is from a different city but if he had been in Chicago, he would’ve been an Erudite hands down. Here at the Bureau, Matthew does tests in the lab. He asks if he can take blood samples from Tobias, Tris, and Uriah to examine their DNA. He’s almost too eager to look at their genes. But, Tobias thinks, this is the man’s job, so he agrees on Tris and Uriah’s behalf.

He finds the rest of the group hanging out in the dormitory. Amar and George are there too and _why is Amar always touching Tris_? Tobias feels a surge of jealousy, because Amar is older and wiser and stronger and funnier and…Tris automatically flits over to Tobias side when she sees him so the jealousy dissipates for now. Amar watches the two of them with a smirk on his face that Tobias can’t read.

They return to Matthew’s lab and they are injected with nanobots to process their genetics. Cara tags along, rummaging through all of Matthew’s files and reports while he tries to prevent her from making a mess, all while the two of them attempt to outsmart each other with science talk. Uriah nods at the two and winks suggestively, making Tobias laugh.

Soon enough, the results show up on Matthew’s tablet. He shows them Tris and Uriah’s DNA, demarked in complicated colors and strands that they don’t understand. Tris is evidently healed; her genes are as pure as they come. Uriah is close, though he has more colors on his test results. Matthew explained it as _traces of excessive recklessness_ , to which Uriah whooped as if it were a grand compliment and raised his hand for Tris to high-five.

Then Matthew swipes over to look at Tobias’s results.

Then everything changes.

Matthew freezes for a moment, staring at the tablet in disbelief. Without a word, he sprints out of the lab and down the hall. A few seconds later, he’s rushing back inside with David, Amar, George, Tori, Zoe, and Natalie in tow. Matthew finally turns the tablet around to reveal Tobias’s DNA. The image is overwhelmingly purple, a color that was not in either Tris or Uriah’s images. David looks like he’s about to faint.

“What is it? What’s wrong with me?”

Tobias looks frantically between David and Matthew and the incomprehensible test results. Instead of answering, Matthew only laughs and David comes over to gently place a hand on Tobias’s shoulder.

“This is it. This is what we’ve always been waiting for.”

“What, _me_?”

Now Natalie is pouring over the tablet, eyes widening with realization.

“You mean he’s…?”

“Yes. Tobias Eaton is _genetically enhanced_.”

* * *

So, it’s like this.

The reason the government started genetically engineering humans in the first place was to develop a superior race without all the flawed traitw. Except they failed and spent the next centuries doing damage control, trying to bring the population back to the original “pure” state. Sometimes, two broken pieces make a whole—these are the Divergents. But sometimes, two broken pieces make something more than whole. Somewhere along the way, by happy accident or divine intervention, a superhuman was born.

This is why he got all five factions in his test. This is why he can resist even the death serum.

And just like that, Tobias suddenly becomes the crown jewel of the Bureau.

* * *

Hours and hours of testing and experiments in the lab later, they finally release Tobias for the night. He tiredly stumbles back towards the dorm, rubbing the side of his neck which is sore from taking so many injections. They kept telling him how he is basically a miracle, how his great-grandparents must have been genetically damaged in all different ways, fitting together like puzzle pieces to give birth to stronger and stronger children, culminating with Tobias, beyond Divergent. Tobias is a blessing. Tobias is important. Tobias can save us all.

But he doesn’t _feel_ special. He feels like a seventeen-year-old boy who still goes by Four because he can’t face his Abnegation past. And he didn’t like the way Tris and Uriah were quickly ushered out of the lab like they were now of no more use than the GDs. Don’t put him on a pedestal when he never asked to be.

“Well, look who it is, Mr. GE.”

Tobias stops walking and turns around to find Amar.

“What are they going to do to me?”

He’s not sure why he decided to vent to Amar of all people. Probably because Amar is here, now, and to be honest Tobias is frightened out of his mind. Throughout testing that day, he imagined nightmarish scenarios where Matthew and David cut him open and hack him to pieces so that everyone could have a bit of his miracle DNA.

“Relax, kid. They’re just going to study you and see if they can engineer more people like you.”

“It that really necessary though? Can’t we just teach people the right values rather than try to program them?”

“George and I have been saying that for years but they don’t listen. Bureau people are stubborn. They can’t accept failure.”

“What is their definition of success, then?”

Amar shrugs. He begins walking away before turning around again.

“By the way, Tris was looking for you.”

“Oh. Thanks. Um…you and Tris are pretty close, yeah?”

Amar laughs like an adult patronizing a child. Tobias is immediately embarrassed.

“Not in the way she’s close with you! Besides, George and I are happily dating. Even if we weren’t, it’s not like I could compete with you, hotshot.”

Tobias feels like a fool. In any case, he shares a timid chuckle with Amar before entering the dormitory. It’s late, but everyone is still up, huddled around Uriah’s cot as they laugh together. Uriah is making some sort of imitation while Tris and Will are doubled over in laughter, leaning against each other to keep from falling to the floor completely. Even Caleb and Eric are somewhat included in the circle, grinning at the inside joke. In fact, the only person who seems excluded here is Tobias himself.

“Hey guys.”

They all abruptly stop talking when he approaches. Will makes a weird coughing noise, something like a scoff, and leaves to go to his cot. Everyone else disperses after him until only Tris and Uriah remain. Uriah gives Tobias half a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Tris places a hand softly on Tobias’s arm and guides him over to their cots.

“What were you guys all laughing about?”

“Zoe took us on an airplane today. We flew super high and we could even see the city and…the world is really big, Tobias. It was amazing.”

“I’d probably hate it. Fear of heights and all.”

“Right. Yeah.”

That night, Tris doesn’t scoot her cot closer to his and they don’t hold hands.

* * *

The next few days pass in a blur. Tobias is repeatedly summoned to the lab to be poked and prodded. They’re trying to clone him by extracting his enhanced genes and growing cells in petri dishes. He’s not entirely sure how he feels about the prospect of having multiple mini versions of him running around, but the scientists don’t really care about his consent apparently. Meanwhile, Tris and Uriah are off visiting the fringe and exploring different rooms of the Bureau and Tobias feels grotesquely left out.

On the third day, his nightmare becomes reality as they draw out liters and liters of blood from the vein in his arm. After they let him go for the day, he manages to walk about three steps out the door before he collapses in the hallway. He’s so lightheaded, he doesn’t even register that the person helping him sit up and holding his head upright is Tris. Once he can focus again, she orders him to wait there before she storms inside the lab. Even through the open doorway, he can hear Tris yelling at David and Matthew and the others. If they don’t stop taking Tobias’s blood, she threatens to slit all of their wrists and let them bleed to death.

Tobias smiles to himself, because hell hath no fury like Tris Prior angry.

* * *

Tris and Natalie visit Tobias the next day as he continues being studied by the scientists. No blood this time, thanks to Tris. Instead, they put him inside this an MRI, even bigger and more complex than the one Jeanine had in her lab, to scan his brain. He has to lay still for a while, but Tris and her mother sit right beside the machine and he listens in to their conversation.

“So, you grew up here in the Bureau?”

“No, I actually grew up outside in the fringe. Thankfully, I was rescued.”

“Why did you come into the city?”

“The Erudite began hunting the Divergent long before you were born. It was becoming an issue since the whole point of the experiment was to increase the GP population. I volunteered to go into the city. My family had died in the fringe and I liked the idea of a new start.”

“Did you…did you marry Dad just because he was also Divergent?”

“No, Beatrice, of course not!”

Natalie proceeds to tell the story of how she and Andrew met, how they became great friends and later fell in love, how they shared their test results with each other in secrecy. She was originally supposed to transfer to Erudite to better save the Divergents. She wasn't even supposed to stay in the city permanently. But Andrew wanted to transfer to Abnegation after his fallout with his friend Jeanine, so Natalie followed him. She hid behind veils of gray by day, played superhero by night, and finally found herself a home.

When Tobias slides out of the MRI, he sees mother and daughter finally reconciling. He also sees David look at Natalie with a broken expression for a just a second before the older man turns around and walk away.

* * *

The cloning wasn’t working.

They couldn’t replicate Tobias’s enhanced genes.

Murmurs began around the Bureau. None of the workers or scientists would look Tobias in the eye, like they knew something he didn’t.

Finally, Matthew pulls him aside:

“They’re not just going to let you go, you know that? You genes are too important.”

“What do they expect me to do?”

“…they need you to have children.”


	8. Believing

Cara and Caleb are quick to jump to his defense. They talk about in vitro fertilization and surrogacy and sperm donation and other methods the Erudite used to have for reproduction, so surely they must have it here at the Bureau. Right?

David shakes his head and says no, the government has been cutting their funding and they barely have enough money to run all the equipment as it is. In fact, Tobias is their last hope. If they can just replicate his genes, even if only through having a baby the old fashioned way, then the Bureau of Genetic Welfare is saved. Otherwise—the entire Bureau will be shut down altogether. So they round up volunteers, young women both GP and GD, all for Tobias to impregnate.

All of Tobias’s friends rally behind him, even Amar and George and Matthew too. That this is unnecessary, that this pushed the boundary, that _genetics aren’t even what’s fucking wrong with the world in the first place_. You can put a bunch of people inside a fenced city and watch them breed like lab rats. You can manipulate people’s genes until you’ve done more damage than good. But you can’t force some teenage boy to father children with strangers against his will. They’re done here. They’re going back to the city.

Then David steps forward, the true wielder of power. Then armed guards march forward, encircling the small defiant group, machine guns pointed at their heads. It’s only then does Tobias realize how desperate the David and the Bureau are.

“No one is leaving, understood?”

* * *

It’s Eric, of all people, who had discovered the Bureau’s other ulterior motives. In the week they’ve been here, he met a girl named Nita who told him all the secrets. How awful the wars were even before all this GP/GD nonsense. How the Bureau gave Jeanine Matthews the serum to control Dauntless. How the Bureau was planning on using memory serum on the entire city to “reset” them back to the original faction structure now that mayhem has broken out.

Ever since their little protest, they’ve all been relocated to cells rather than their dormitory. And now it’s clear they needed to break out of here, fast, before all their friends and family back home have their memories completely wiped.

But the only way they have a chance of leaving is if they give the Bureau what they want.

Tobias has no other option.

He tells David that he'll cooperate if others are allowed to go back to the city. David agrees and they schedule the departure for tomorrow morning. For his last request, Tobias pleads to visit Tris for this final night.

After he is let into her cell and he explains what he’s done, she starts to cry. And he just holds her, wondering if perhaps he’s too selfless for his own good. In the end, he’ll always be willing to sacrifice himself. In the end, that’s not always a good thing. He lovingly kisses Tris’s forehead and whispers the solemn truth:

“If it were up to me, I’d only want to have kids with you.”

What he means is, _I love you_. What Tris got is an idea.

* * *

 The next morning, Tori, Uriah, Will, and Cara embark on the return journey to the city. Nita managed to steal some anti-memory serums which give immunity in case the Bureau does do a mass reset. At least they can protect themselves and their families back in the city. Natalie, Caleb, and Eric stay behind to attempt to sabotage the Bureau with help from Matthew, Nita, Amar, and George.

As for Tris and Tobias, well.

David is waiting in the lab with the young women who have volunteered to mother GE children and he is bewildered when Tobias enter with Tris in tow. She marches up to David, getting right in his face.

“I’m the only one who will be having that boy’s babies, got it?”

It makes Tobias blush profusely and the women chuckle. Tris was always more Dauntless than him, too Dauntless for her own good. David is about to object, probably to claim that the probability of conceiving a child is higher if Tobias tries with multiple women, but at that moment Natalie steps into the lab behind them and gives David a soft, meaningful glance.

“David, they’re in love.”

With that, David finally relents. Then before he knows it, Tobias is being ushered into a bedroom with Tris and the door clicks shut behind them. Even with the ample room and the large bed, he feels claustrophobic. Tris wraps her arm around him and coaxes him onto the bed. She kisses him but all he’s focusing on is trying not to hyperventilate. The walls seem to be closing in and everything is _wrong_.

“We don’t have to do this, Tris. Not like this.”

“I know. But I want to.”

She lifts her shirt swiftly over her head and now his breathing quickens for another reason.

* * *

 They try again. And again. And several more times, for good measure.

And Tris doesn’t get pregnant.

* * *

 When George tells Tobias that Tris is in the infirmary and asking for him, he dares to be hopeful.

Instead, he finds Tris sitting on top of the small cot, legs drawn closer to her chest, looking unbelievably small. Matthew is with her, standing an awkward distance apart, as if unsure how to comfort her. When he sees Tobias enter, Matthew quickly moves to leave, handing his tablet to Tobias before his exit.

“Tris? What’s wrong?”

She’s crying, he realizes. She’s sobbing.

“They did a test, you know, just to check up on me. And…I can’t have kids, Tobias.”

She buries her face into her knees and hug her legs. He sits down beside her on the bed and eases her to unfold her body and lifts her into his lap. She grabs a fistful of his shirt and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t also heartbroken by this news. He holds her and he hates this Bureau for breaking Tris down like this, for making her feel weak. Tris Prior is never weak. But here, in this small moment, she has failed.

* * *

 Late at night, the rebels meet up in hidden rooms deep within the building. With news of Tris’s infertility spreading across the Bureau like wildfire, they will surely want to initiate the memory serum reset on the city soon. Before, David and the others tiptoed around Tris and Tobias, appeasing all their wishes in hopes of procreation. Now that’s no longer the case and they have no reason for delaying the memory swipe because an angry Tris is no longer a priority.

There’s also bad news. George has been meticulously studying the monitors recently and four faces have yet to make a return.

“Tori and the others never made it back to the city.”

An ominous dread settles into the room. They can only imagine what happened to them, and who was responsible.

Plus, without their delivery of the anti-memory serum, no one in the city had protection. All those innocent people. Their entire lives simply rewritten.

Nita and Matthew laid out a large sheet of paper on the table, a blueprint map of the Bureau building.

“They’ve developed a gas version of the memory serum. They’re planning on flying above the city and spraying the serum, so anyone who inhales it will be affected.”

“How do we stop them?”

“The main control is locked in the Weapons Lab, here.”

Matthew points to a room on the map.

“It is under the highest security. Only David has access to it. And if we try to break in, it triggers a spray of death serum to kill any intruder.”

“Then how are we supposed to reach it?”

Nita and Matthew share an uneasy look before turning to stare at Tobias. Soon, everyone else has caught on and Caleb, Natalie, Eric, Amar, and George are also staring at Tobias. Tris slams a fist on the table.

“ _NO_. Absolutely not!”

Oh, but how else? The only way to get to the control is to send in the one person who is immune to the death serum. Tobias simply gulps and hopes it wasn’t luck the first time.

* * *

 They put Tobias in the same copulation bedroom with one of the other young women. She’s pretty, with red hair and freckles and a lovely smile, beckoning him towards the bed but he won’t, shouldn’t, can’t. He knocks hard against the door until they finally release him, out of annoyance. David is so upset that he grabs Tobias by the shoulders and shakes him vigorously:

“Just make a child, damn it!”

* * *

 Tensions run high at the Bureau. Eric even gets into a brawl with one of the scientists, resulting in intervention from the guards and Eric getting a black eye. As Natalie tends his injury with an ice pack, Tobias sits down on the cot across from him.

“You’ve…changed.”

“What’s your point, Four?”

“Why? Why are you helping us?”

Eric shrugs.

“I don’t know what to believe in anymore.”

* * *

He pulls Tris aside, finding sanctuary in a closed off room. They settle onto an old couch, sinking into the cushions pressed against each other.

“What do we do after?”

“What do you mean?”

“Say we’re successful in stopping the memory serum spray. Then what? We’re not safe until the Bureau is shut down.”

“Oh Tobias.”

“Am I wrong?”

She shifts so they’re both lying flat, facing each other eye to eye. She’s gorgeous, like the first time they were ever this close, atop the Ferris wheel. Just like then, his heart races. Gently, she puts her hand up to his cheek.

“You know what I’ve learned, through all this? That there is always a greater evil. I used to think Jeanine Matthews was the enemy, but she’s not. Jeanine Matthews is so small. Jeanine Matthews was a puppet. Even the Bureau is just a puppet. If we take down the Bureau, we just have to face whoever is above them.”

“…what are you saying, Tris?”

“I’m saying, worst case scenario I die. And my mom and Caleb die. And Amar, George, Matthew, everyone dies. But you won’t die. They won’t let you die. Worst case scenario, you have to promise to move on.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I love you, Tobias. Even if you go and have kids with someone else, I’ll still love you.”

He kisses her because he’s afraid to hear what else she has to say. It’s starting to sound a lot like goodbye.

“No matter what happens, I love you. I’ll only ever love you.”

She gives him a sad smile, almost like she doesn’t believe him.

* * *

 Somehow David gets word of their plotting and initiates an emergency lockdown of the entire Bureau. Tobias knows exactly what this means—they’re dropping the memory serum _tonight_.

The ragtag team jumps into action. They only have a limited time to get to the Weapons Lab and deactivate the memory serum before it wipes out everyone’s life as they knew it. Splitting up, everyone takes up their respective positions. Caleb sneaks away to shut off the lights. Nita and Eric run to the supply closet where they had stashed the suit and explosives for Tobias.

Tobias, Tris, and Natalie stick together, subtly blending in with the crowd as all the personnel file out under emergency protocol. At the center atrium, George and Amar join them, secretly passing guns out to the three before disappearing again.

They wait. And they wait. The lights remain on. Eric and Nita are nowhere in sight.

“We don’t have much time.”

Natalie turns to the kids expectantly.

“I’m going to create a diversion. You two run to the Weapons Lab, quick!”

Without another word, Natalie points her gun to the glass ceiling above and shoots, causing broken shards of glass to rain down on the unsuspecting crowd. Tris grabs Tobias’s hand and they sprint down the hall. It’s like the day of the Choosing Ceremony all over again. Nothing feels more like home than Tris yanking him along by the arm, so hard his shoulder almost dislocates. He’d follow her anywhere.

Finally, Eric and Nita reappear with a backpack in tow. They sprint along to catch up with Tris and Tobias, managing to pass off the backpack before the security guards caught up to them and started shooting. Nita is hit and falls to the floor.

“Stop! Put down your weapons!”

Tris, Tobias, and Eric quickly dive behind the nearest corner, taking turns peeking around the corner to fire at the guards. Tobias barely had time to don the backpack. The guards were quickly gaining on them.

Suddenly, Tris pulls him up again and the two of them jump out into the open. Tris presses the barrel of her gun against Tobias’s head.

“Come any closer and I’ll kill him!”

All the guards immediately stop shooting. Any threat against Tobias, the genetically enhanced crown jewel of the Bureau, wields tremendous power. However, Tris and Tobias only manage to take about three steps back before one of the security guards calls her bluff.

“You would never kill him. You love him.”

Tris’s hand wavers. Tobias stands helpless—his gun is still behind the corner where he dropped it when Tris hauled him up.

Before the guards can advance again, Eric runs out and shoves Tris aside, taking her place. Now it’s Eric’s gun against the side of Tobias’s head. Eric puts Tobias in a chokehold, dragging him further backwards.

“Maybe she wouldn’t kill him, but I would. Just watch me.”

They retreat far enough until they both break into a sprint. The guards are quick to follow, but Tris runs with them, shooting back. With her aim, she puts up a fair fight despite being hugely outnumbered. Soon, they reach the final hallway. The Weapons Lab is there at the end, its doors locked shut. Turning around, Tobias just catches sight of Tris getting shot in the arm.

Instinctively, he lunges forward towards her, but Eric stops him.

“Go! I’ll cover Tris.”

Never in a million years did Tobias think it would come down to this. That it would be him and Eric, working together, trying to save the day. Eric the bully, the one who tried to kill him. Life really is full of surprises. Sometimes it's the ones closest to us who hurt us the most and it’s our enemies who have our backs, in the end.

Eric runs back to open fire against the guards alongside Tris. Tobias hurriedly takes the bomb out and attaches it to the wall beside the Weapons Lab. He takes a few steps away and detonates. He had hoped that the explosion would create another diversion, but when he glances back, Tris and Eric are still struggling as even more guards arrive.

Tris gets shot in the chest and collapses. Tobias feels his heart in his throat. _Please be alright_ , he prays. _Please hold on._

There’s no time to wear the suit, so Tobias just steps straight through the hole into the lab. Death serum is coming down in a mist. Tobias had intended to run inside, but the serum makes his limbs heavy like they did back in the Erudite lab. He can only take a few steps upright before he’s down on all fours. A horrible thought strikes him. He’s not going to make it.

He might make it out of this alive, but he’ll never reach the control in time. He can’t move. His limbs have gone lifeless. It takes all the energy inside him just to stay alive.

Then, the death serum mist stops.

In the corner of his eye, he sees David slowly walking towards him. The control sits directly behind David, taunting Tobias.

“Defying death once again, I see.”

Tobias gasps for the clean air. When he speaks, his voice is raspy and jagged.

“What are you doing here?”

“Your friend Caleb sure cracks easily under pressure. We caught him trying to shut off the lights and he easily told us your plans. It really is strange how he ended up so damaged unlike the rest of his family.”

As the seconds passed, Tobias can feel the effects of the death serum wearing off, like oil slipping off his skin. He clumsily gets to his feet, but David quickly points a gun at him.

“I can’t have you do this, Tobias. The memory serum will be released to the city. It’s for the greater good.”

Tobias takes a step forward and almost falls again. David keeps the gun pointed at him the whole time as he regains his balance.

“Why would you revert the city back to the faction system? Didn’t you see how that worked out last time?”

“Who said anything about going back to the faction system?”

At those words, Tobias blinked back in surprise.

“I just wanted you to cooperate, Tobias. It really wasn’t so hard. I need to know that you aren’t a fluke, that your enhanced genes can be inherited. But you know what your problem is? You’re in love. You refuse to sleep with anyone else because you’re in love with that Prior girl.”

“I would think you of all people would know what that’s like. You’re in love with Natalie.”

David falters for a second. In that short time, Tobias takes a gamble. No way would David actually kill him. He runs forward and knocks David to the ground, then runs for the control. With arm outstretched, he can almost reach the keypad when he feels something hit the back of his neck and suddenly his entire body is paralyzed. He falls like a deadweight onto the floor. He never reaches the control box.

It’s not a bullet, he realizes. He’s not bleeding. David had been holding a sort of dart gun and the small needle that’s lodged in the back of his neck is spreading a numbness down to the rest of his body and up to his brain. It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before.

He tries to ask what was in the dart, but he finds he cannot speak. David slowly climbs back to his feet and walks over to Tobias, crouching down beside him.

“Like I said, the problem is that you’re in love with Beatrice Prior. So we’re going to fix that.”

The numbness has fully taken over his mind until he can no longer form coherent thoughts. His vision fades to black.

* * *

 He doesn’t remember what happens next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't over! Final chapter(s) coming soon. I don't want to give anything away but I'll tell you this: both Tobias and Tris live. Don't worry kids, this one will have somewhat of a happy ending.


	9. Restarting

It’s Thursday.

Tobias leaves work early and drives towards the center of the city. He’s high up enough in Dauntless leadership that no one dares question where he sneaks off to every week.

He parks in the school lot and walks around to the farthest building. A few of the older kids are still outside, hanging out in the playground by the junior dormitories. He stays in the shadows, keeping away from the streetlights so the kids don’t recognize him.

When he reaches the nursery, he loops around back to the employee entrance. He’s done this enough times now where it’s second nature. By the time he’s walking up the steps and knocking on the door, he’s busy thinking about work and the tasks he needs to do tomorrow that it takes him a few seconds to register the fact that the woman who answered the door is not Lorraine.

The new woman has blonde hair chopped short and bright blue eyes that seem to penetrate into his soul. She stares at him with wide eyes, like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.

He sighs. She probably knows him as one of the Dauntless leaders. She’s also probably wondering what the hell he’s doing at the city nursery. Nervously, he scratches the back of his neck.

“Uh, hi. Where’s Lorraine?”

“Oh. Lorraine got promoted. I’m the new nightshift caretaker.”

He has a sinking feeling in his gut. Lorraine doesn’t work the nightshift anymore? Lorraine, the nice old lady who breaks the rules to let Tobias see his kids every week. Lorraine, who gladly accepts some Dauntless cake and “looks the other way” when the three kids run past her and into Tobias’s arms. Now what is he going to do? He has the box of cake in his hands but looking at the pint size of the new girl, he doubts the same bribery will be effective.

“So, can I help you?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m Tobias Eaton I’m—“

“I know.”

She has a strange, soft expression on her face that he can’t decipher. Something stirs in the back of his mind, something like deja vu.

“Right. I just…uh so every Thursday…you see…I don’t know how to explain this.”

As he sputters out words, unable to make a proper sentence, the new girl just looks at him in confusion, a small amused smile making its way onto her face. Over her shoulder, he sees three little heads peeking out from behind the wall. When she turns around to see what he’s looking at, the three quickly duck back around the corner, but not before she notices.

“Are you here to visit your kids, Tobias?”

“Okay, I know that’s not allowed, but it’s really harmless and it’s just once a week.”

Haley, Jonah, and Eli run out and surround the new girl. Haley tugs on the new girl’s sleeve and Eli even wraps his arms around her leg. He only reaches up to her knee.

“Please, Miss Tris? Can we go with Tobias?”

“Yeah, Miss Lorraine always let us.”

She looks down at the toddlers and back up at Tobias. Her eyes flicker with indecision. Tobias is suddenly hopeful, that maybe the new girl will be sympathetic (and a little gluttonous) like Lorraine.

“What do you say, Tris? I won’t get you fired, I promise.”

She freezes when he says her name and she looks at him with that strange expression again. It almost makes his heart ache. But soon enough, her face breaks into a smile.

“Fine. Just be sure to bring them back by bedtime.”

The children squeal and Haley hugs Tris tightly around her waist. Then they’re off, tackling Tobias like they always do. With Jonah on Tobias’s back, Haley in his right arm, and little Eli in his left, he stands back up carrying all three kids. Haley takes the box from his hand and gives it to Tris.

Tris’s face lights up after she opens the box.

“Dauntless cake!”

He frowns and looks down at her gray outfit. Only Abnegation work as caretakers. How does she know what Dauntless cake is? But he doesn’t give it too much thought and retreats to his car. The kids laugh as they cling onto him.

/

“What did you guys do this week?”

They’re in their secret spot in the city, atop the old Bean statue. There’s a big dent on the top and all four of them sit inside, their favorite hideaway.

Haley immediately starts telling Tobias all about her week and all the crafts she made. The four-year-old girl has always been the most talkative of his children. Even before she learned to talk she was blabbing nonsense words. Destined to be a Candor, Tobias thinks.

While his sister talks, Eli climbs into Tobias’s lap and rests his head against Tobias’s chest. When Tobias doesn’t react fast enough, Eli pulls on his father’s arms until they’re wrapped around his tiny body. Three-year-old Eli constantly seeks affection, from Tobias, from his caretakers, his teachers, his siblings, his friends. And you can’t help but love Eli back. Amity through and through, Tobias thinks.

But when Tobias looks over at Jonah, his oldest child appears deep in thought. His eyebrows are furrowed so there’s a small crease in the center of his forehead. The six-year-old is quiet, especially when compared to his sister. Lorraine used to say that Jonah thinks a thousand words and only says ten. With Jonah, Tobias isn’t sure. Maybe he has Erudite intellect or maybe he has Abnegation instinct to keep to himself. Maybe he’s both.

“Jonah? What’s wrong, bud?”

The boy finally snaps out of his daze to look up at his father. He shakes his head and says nothing’s wrong, but Haley is quick to jump in.

“Jonah is scared about moving into the junior dorms.”

Jonah scowls at Haley. The girl can never keep a secret. Tobias laughs and puts a hand on Jonah’s shoulder.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be scared about. It’s just like the nursery, but it’s for the big kids. And you get to start going to school! Isn’t that exciting?”

“Yeah, I guess. But I won’t get to see Haley and Eli.”

Here, Tobias pauses. He was afraid of this when he first started visiting Jonah, before his other kids were even born. He was afraid that visiting them, if even just for a few hours each week, would cause them to be attached to him and to each other. It goes against the very foundation that the city was built upon.

 _As a communal society_ , the charter says, _everything is shared. We are all children of one mother, Chicago._

Marriage and families are prohibited because that leads to loving some people more than others. Most people don’t know who their parents are. Last names are only used to prevent accidental incest. For some reason, this has always seemed wrong to Tobias. Shouldn’t siblings share a greater bond, more than just people not to have sex with? Shouldn’t parents take part at least just a little in their children’s upbringing?

Perhaps Tobias still has old fashioned values.

But here, hearing Jonah say that he’s sad to leave his brother and sister behind, it makes Tobias worry that they’ll get in trouble. He’s taught his children to love family, not the city, and one day they’ll all pay for this.

“You’ll still get to see them, Jonah. I’m still going to visit and you’ll see them then.”

Jonah smiles and holds up his pinky.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Eli beats Tobias to it and wraps his small pinky around Jonah’s instead. They all laugh into the night. Once again, Tobias wonders why anyone would try to prevent this, this wonderful thing called family.

/

As agreed, Tobias brings his car screeching into the parking lot and sprints with his children back to the nursery right on time. Tris is already waiting at the back door, trying to keep a stern expression but failing. She orders the kids to go straight to bed and they all rush off to their respective rooms.

He thanks Tris again and turns to leave, but she reaches out and touches his arm to stop him.

She quickly draws back, as if she had acted without thinking. Her touch was soft, but it seems to burn his skin.

“Do you…do you want to see your other son?”

He raises his eyebrows. His youngest child, Baxter, was only about four months old if he remembers correctly. No adults are allowed inside the nursery besides caretakers and teachers. That’s one rule that Lorraine never broke. Yet here is Tris, opening the door wider so he can step inside.

Slowly, he enters and she shuts the door behind him. Her arm brushes against his and it sets off another tingling sensation. He sucks in a breath. As she leads him into the nursery and towards the infant room, he has the urge to put a hand on the small of her back or around her waist or any gesture just to make physical contact again. He doesn’t.

Inside the infant room, rows and rows of cribs form a sort of maze throughout the room. Most of the babies are peacefully dozing, but a few are crying. Even though Tris has only worked here for less than a week (since Lorraine was still here last Thursday,) she expertly navigates the room and knows exactly what to do to calm each crying baby. Give this one a pacifier, that one a stuffed bear, the other one her blanket that she’d dropped. Like magic, each baby stopped crying after Tris’s touch.

She stops at one crib in particular. A label that reads _Baxter Eaton_ is attached to the end of the crib. Baxter is awake, but not crying, staring at the plastic stars of the mobile above his bed. Tris leans down to pick him up, gently cradling him in her arms.

“Want to hold him?”

Tobias looks at his son anxiously. He’s never held a baby before. All his children could already walk when he first saw them. Tris must have noted his anxiety because she shifts to hold Baxter with one arm and reaches out with the other to position Tobias’s arms just right. He kind of hopes she keeps touching him like that.

Suddenly, he’s holding his son in his arms. He’s tiny, so unbelievably small. He stirs a little, then nestles his head into the crook of Tobias’s elbow. His little eyelids flutter and then he falls asleep. Watching Baxter, Tobias practically melts into a puddle.

When Tobias looks up again, Tris is already halfway across the room, tending to another crying baby. She lifts the infant to her arms and slowly rocks back and forth, cooing sweet noises at the baby.

“Hey Tris, you’re new here right? I mean to Chicago.”

She looks at him in surprise.

“I mean, I haven’t seen you around before.”

“There’s thousands of people in the city. You can’t possibly recognize everyone.”

“No, but if I’d seen you before I would remember.”

She freezes again and looks away, turning her attention back to the baby. With Baxter still in his arms, Tobias walks towards her.

“So how do you like the city? Newcomers tend to take a while to adjust to the different way of life here.”

“It’s different alright. Talk about no strings attached.”

He laughs. She quickly shushes him and points to the sleeping babies. Tris is still comforting the same baby, who is now back in the crib receiving a soft backrub. Tobias watches Tris bending over the crib, nurture and maternity basically radiating from her being.

“Do you think you’ll start having kids of your own? Now that you’re here.”

She stares at him again, deep into his soul like when she first opened the door.

“How do you know I don’t already have kids?”

To be honest, he doesn’t know why he assumed she didn’t. She’s at the common age for a mother. And if she’s from outside the city, the most logical explanation for her excellent baby caretaking skills would be because she has a kid of her own.

But she smiles and rests a hand on his arm.

“Sorry. I’m not offended or anything. You’re right, I don’t have any kids. Actually, I can’t have kids.”

He feels like he already knew that. How could he possibly already know that?

In any case, her hand is still on his arm. He doesn’t want her to let go.

/

“Okay, Tobias, don’t turn around but there’s two very fine ladies sitting behind us. What do you say?”

“You go for it. I’m not really feeling it.”

“Damn it man, you’re never feeling it. Is it a, you know, physical thing? Because there’s medicine for that. You know Cara, that Erudite girl I was with last weekend, she was telling me about—”

“Zeke, shut up. It’s not a physical thing.”

“Come on. All these girls want to have sex with you. You do realize that’s the reason I land so many ladies, right? Because after they realize you’re a brick wall, they rebound to the best friend.”

“Glad to be of service.”

It’s Friday night and Tobias is with his best friend at the bar. It’s packed tonight and Tobias won’t lie, his eyes do linger on a few of the girls as they pass. It’s a medley of colors as the factions intermingle in the city nightlife. Usually Dauntless girls wear the most revealing clothes but tonight a group of Candor girls are wearing dresses so short, it really shows the whole truth.

And then, like a magnet, his eyes are drawn to the bar entrance as Tris walks in. He nearly chokes on his beer.

All newcomers are sorted into one of the factions upon arrival into the city. Tobias wonders what incompetent worker decided Tris would be best suited as a Stiff because the dress she’s wearing has a hemline that would make Abnegation faint.

(Another flash of deja vu. It’s starting to weird him out.)

She is still wearing gray and the top part is modest enough—high neckline and longsleeves—but the dress contours her body tightly and ends just below her ass, competing with the Candor girls for shortest dress of the night.

Although she is alone, Tris scans the room like she’s frantically looking for someone. After a few seconds, her eyes find who she’s looking for. It’s not him and Tobias is more disappointed than he cares to admit. She quickly weaves her way into the crowd until she reaches the bar counter and eagerly taps the shoulder of a man. He has dark skin, a megawatt smile, and a familiar face.

“Hey Zeke, isn’t that your brother over there?”

Zeke pries his eyes off the girls behind them and turns to look at the bar.

“Oh yeah. And looks like Uriah’s got game, check out that chick talking to him. That’s my man! Now that I think about it, Uriah’s probably more fun to go to bars with than you.”

Tobias waves Zeke’s comment away and keeps watching Tris and Uriah. She’s talking fast with lots of hand gestures. The longer she talks, the more Uriah’s smile disappears and turns into that of confusion. He shakes his head and Tris sighs. But then Uriah is standing up, says something, and Tris follows him out the bar. Uriah has a hand on her back, between the shoulder blades, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Tobias.

He wonders what that was all about.

/

Why does he keep thinking about her?

Thursday suddenly seems much too far away.

/

Thankfully, he gets to see her again before next Thursday.

It’s the day of the Choosing Ceremony and Tobias is riding up the elevator of the Hub with the rest of Dauntless leadership. This year's class of sixteen-year-olds stand against the walls, excitedly whispering to each other. Five groups of chairs have been set up, one for each faction, ready for the new initiates to fill.

Once all the leaders from the five factions have arrived, Johanna Reyes steps forward and requests everyone to quiet down. This year it’s Amity’s turn to host.

About five initiates in, the door silently opens and two figures slip inside the room. They do a good job not disrupting the ceremony. Tobias only notices because it seems his body is wired to Tris’s somehow; the second she opened the door, he turned in his seat to watch her.

She is with a young girl, also one of the new initiates by the looks of it. Tris quickly helps her find her place in line alphabetically. The girl breathes out thank you and steps into line. As Tris walks back, the principal of the school stops her.

“What are you doing here?”

“Helen stayed behind in the dorm because she didn’t think she belonged in any faction. I found her when I was changing the bed sheets. I convinced her that everyone belonged somewhere and walked her here.”

“Alright. Good. Well, since you’re here, you might as well stay and help clean up after the ceremony.”

Tris nods and moves to stand against the wall, out of the way. She moves near where Tobias is sitting and when he catches her eye, she smiles. He smiles back and turns toward the front once more.

With the conclusion of the Choosing Ceremony, everyone claps. Dauntless has fifteen new initiates. Abnegation has seven, one of which is Helen. Everyone piles out of the room, eager to begin the initiation process. As the other Dauntless leaders lead the new recruits out, Tobias lingers behind. Tris walks over to him, like she can read his mind.

“That was…really amazing what you did today for the girl.”

“It’s my job.”

He nods awkwardly. He doesn’t actually have anything to say, he just wants to be in her presence.

“Uh, your hair looks good.”

He can’t believe he just said that. It’s like he’s a bumbling fool around her. She only laughs and runs her fingers through her short hair.

“Thanks. It used to be long when I was younger.”

Just like that, as if her words triggered some long forgotten memory, the image of Tris with longer hair appears in his mind, so clear it startles him. The image is so detailed and so _real_ , like he’s actually seen her before with long hair. It haunts him for the rest of the day.

//

Usually, he doesn’t dream. The few times he does, it’s always about a war. It takes place in the city, buildings are blown up, people are climbing through windows, Dauntless soldiers are marching mindlessly down the streets. Every time, he wakes up in a cold sweat.

But this time, he doesn’t dream of a war. He dreams of Tris.

//

He’s so excited to see Tris on Thursday that he completely forgets about the fact that Jonah has graduated to the junior dorms and Tris can no longer sneak him out. As he racks his brain for a way to get Jonah, he is pleasantly surprised when Tris opens the back door and his oldest son is already there waiting for him. Tris explains:

“I told the teacher Jonah was ‘in trouble’ and brought him here about ten minutes ago.”

“Aren’t they going to get suspicious if he gets in trouble every Thursday at this time?”

“Hey, don’t underestimate me. I’m creative.”

The weeks pass like this. Every Thursday, he comes to take his kids out and after he brings them back, he stays with Tris in the back room of the nursery. They talk about everything and anything. He tells her about the mothers of his children, how the four women were all one night stands. Some couples are monogamous here, but Tobias never was. Never found anyone he connected to.

When he asks her if she had relationships in the past, she changes the subject.

She makes him laugh, more than anyone else ever has. He feels at ease with her, which is strange since he’s only just met her. She’s one big paradox and he’s going crazy trying to figure her out.

One Thursday turned early Friday morning, he stays all the way until 5 in the morning, when her nightshift ends. She gets her stuff and they walk out the door together and she asks him:

“Want to come to my place?”

As if she even has to ask.

Her hand slips into his, fingers interlacing naturally, and she grins.

He watches her get into his car and thinks, there might not be any other girl after her, ever. Tris just might ruin him.

/

She’s no Abnegation in the bedroom either.

Not long after closing the door to her small house behind him, she’s kissing him and leading him to her bedroom. She pulls his shirt over his head and he walks her backwards to his bed and only when he’s hovering above her shirtless does she stop and bring a hand to the back of his neck.

“Tris? What is it?”

She doesn’t say anything and scrambles to sit up, then leans over to inspect his back.

“You don’t have a tattoo.”

“No, I don’t. Not very Dauntless of me, I know, but I’m scared of needles.”

“No you’re not.”

He gives her a bewildered look and she catches herself.

“Sorry, what I meant is, I thought you would have a tattoo.”

He doesn’t buy her lie. Her shirt has moved to reveal half of one shoulder and a mark of black catches his attention. He lifts up her shirt and _she_ has tattoos. Three ravens across her collarbone, the Dauntless symbol on one shoulder, the Abnegation symbol on the other.

How the fuck does a newcomer have two of the city’s factions’ symbols tattooed on her shoulders?

He starts to back away.

“Tobias, please.”

“Who are you?”

“Don’t you remember me?”

Alarmed, he grabs his shirt and runs out of the house.

/

What alarmed him even more, though, was the image that popped up in his head after he’d gone outside. Tris, younger, with long hair, standing in a moving train, wearing Dauntless black, her tattoos exposed in her tank top. So detailed and familiar, it felt painstakingly real.

/

“She’s obviously a psycho bitch.”

Zeke’s words of comfort after Tobias shares what happened. Tobias only rolls his eyes and grabs another beer. They’re at the bar again, the loud music giving them the privacy to talk without being overheard.

“No, I’m serious Tobias. You should report her. I don’t want people like her taking care of our kids.”

“Tobias?”

They look up to find Uriah approach their table. The older Pedrad brother looks antsy, eyes constantly shifting around the room. Tobias can’t really recall the last time he actually talked to Uriah before. He’s always just thought of Uriah as the guy who looks like Zeke, as his best friend’s brother.

“Zeke, mind if I talk to Tobias alone?”

Zeke gives the two of them a questioning glance before leaving the table, going to hit on some girls no doubt. Uriah takes Zeke’s seat, facing Tobias with fidgety hands.

“What’s up?”

“It’s about Tris Prior.”

Tobias feels his stomach drop at her name.

“What about her?”

“She’s telling the truth.”

“What? No, not you too, Uriah.”

“No, just, hear me out. At first I thought she was crazy too. She found me here at the bar a month ago and she looked so excited to see me, like I’m an old friend or something even though I’ve never seen her before. Then we left to go somewhere quieter to talk and she told me all this unbelievable shit. She said we were all given the memory serum and had out memories ‘reset.’ She said Chicago is an experiment city being watched by some government Bureau outside. She said we were once trying to fight and rebel but we lost.”

“You can’t believe that.”

“I didn’t at first. But then she showed me this.”

Uriah pulls out an old, folded photo from his pocket. It’s of a young Uriah and a young girl, beautiful, smiling away from the camera. She’s clearly Dauntless as well; she has several tattoos and piercings. From the looks of it, this must have been from back when Uriah was a teenager.

“Who is she?”

“I don’t know. Tris said her name’s Marlene.”

“How do you not know her? You took a picture with her.”

“That’s the point, Tobias. That’s obviously me in that photo, so how come I don’t remember taking it? How come I don’t remember this girl?”

An awful feeling takes root in Tobias. His vision goes fuzzy around the edges. It feels like losing grip on reality. Uriah stares at the photo, his voice shaking.

“How come I love her? I didn’t even remember her name, but how come I remember I loved her?”

“Okay, this is a lot to take in. What does this mean?”

“It means I believe Tris, and you should too. It means the war between the factions, the war that led to the creation of this new communal society, did not happen over a hundred years ago like they said. It happened _eight_ years ago. _We_ were in that war.”

His dream flashes before his eyes again. Visions—or are they memories—resurface in rapid succession. Storming Erudite, the attack on the safehouse, the trial at Candor, marching with the Dauntless into Abnegation. How does he remember? How can he have two realities in his head?

“But Uriah, we grew up here our whole lives. There was no war.”

“Do you actually remember your childhood and living in the junior dorms? Or are those memories hazy and unclear?”

Tobias is scared to admit that Uriah is right. Because that means his memories of his past are artificial. That someone has tampered with his mind.

/

That night, he can’t sleep. After tossing and turning in his bed, he goes down to the Chasm, hoping the roar of the water below can clear his head. He goes to lean against the railing but immediately jumps back as if the metal had burned him.

Another flashback appears. He’s hanging over the railing. Someone reaches down to help him up. Tris, his saving grace.

He stumbles back into the Pit, terrified of the memories that keep betraying him. There’s only a handful of people still out and about at this hour. As a group of initiates walk past him, they stare at him with confused looks. He must look like a mess.

“Four.”

Spinning around, he finds Tris standing there, his fears materialized. Her gray robes look severely out of place here, causing a few people to stare.

“Did you just call me Four? Like the number?”

She smirks.

“Well, why did you respond to it?”

He can’t help but smile. He isn’t scared of Tris, he realizes. He’s scared of the truth that she’ll bring.

But he is Dauntless. He is not a coward. Uriah took a leap of faith in believing her. Tobias will do the same. He nods towards the stairs and she follows him up to his apartment.

/

She tells him everything. With every sentence she says, another memory from his past life slips through, until he nearly remembers all of it.

“After they injected you with the memory serum, they quickly transported you to the city to join everyone else who had been subject to the serum. Uriah, Tori, Will, and Cara were missing and we feared they were killed by the Bureau, but turns out they were also given the memory serum and returned to the city. They created a whole new city structure in hopes you would father lots of children.”

“What happened to you?”

Tentatively, Tris peels off her robe and lifts up her shirt to reveal her ribs. A huge scar the shape of a circle is on her left rib, directly below the heart.

“I was in critical condition for a while. I didn’t wake up for weeks. I’m sure the Bureau would have gladly let me die, but my mom and Caleb convinced them that my healed genes were too valuable to waste. Even if I can’t have kids. So, I survived.”

“And they let you come back into the city?”

“Of course not. After the reset, the few of us left had to start working for the Bureau. Eric, Nita, and I kept trying to think of a way to come back, to save you, but there was no way to get through security. Then, my mom married David.”

“…after everything he did?! She _married_ him?”

Tris’s face also twists up in disgust.

“I think it was a sacrifice she made. She needed to be on his good side. She needed to have power over him. And, I mean, it worked. It was thanks to her that I was able to sneak out of the Bureau and into the city in the first place.”

“Okay. But where’s everyone else?”

“Caleb and Matthew are hacking the security cameras so I never appear on the monitors in the Bureau.  I’m sure they realize I’m missing, but Eric, Nita, and George are helping fake a story that I ran away into the fringe. Amar gave me a phone, so he can contact me in case of emergencies.”

Tobias nods. There’s something else he wants to ask, something about the way Tris looks at him when she thinks he doesn’t notice.

 “These eight years…have you…did you find someone else?”

What he wants to say is: I’m sorry I slept with other people when I forgot about you.

She smiles wistfully. Her eyes are filled with sorrow. The small lines in the corner of her eyes show her age.

“I tried. Once I realized I couldn’t rescue you anytime soon, I tried to let you go. We were so young, Tobias. Still kids. You were my first love but I should’ve been able to move on. Matthew and I actually tried to be together, but that didn’t work out. I just never stopped hoping, never stopped waiting.”

Her words tore him apart. His lips crashes down on hers, seemingly of their own accord. Hoisting her up by the waist, he carries her to his bed. This time, when he lifts up her shirt, her tattoos don’t scare him. Instead, he lays her down and kisses each bird on her collarbone before moving down to place two gentle kisses on her bullet wound.

This is where Tris almost died. (Kiss.) This is where we got a second chance. (Kiss.)

Later, he’s lying on his stomach and she’s lying on her side, curled up beside him. She traces the ghost of his tattoos down the skin of his back. With every curve, he remembers a little more.

“I remember zip lining. I was scared shitless and you were drunk and I caught you.”

She beams at him.

“I knew you’d be able to resist the memory serum, no matter how strong they made it for you. You just needed some reminding.”

They settle down for the night in his bed, Tobias with one arm wrapped around her waist. Neither talks about what happens now. To be honest, he is so tired of fighting. Fighting against his father, fighting against Erudite and the traitor Dauntless, fighting against the Bureau. There will always be another battle.

So, for tonight, they don’t worry about the future. He has Tris back and that’s all that matters.

/

It’s Thursday.

The door is yanked open before he can knock. A frantic Tris rushes out, grabbing his arms.

“Your kids are gone.”

Blind panic fills his mind. They race into the nursery, tearing the place apart but Haley, Eli, and Baxter are nowhere to be seen. They rush to the junior dorms and Jonah has also disappeared without a trace.

A soft, electronic ringing fills the air. Tris retrieves her phone, hidden underneath layers of clothing, and answers it.

“Amar?”

Tobias can tell by her face it’s not good news.

/

They reconvene in Tobias’s apartment to strategize through the night. Uriah is there as well as Zeke, although the latter is still thoroughly unconvinced. Tris explains what Amar had told her.

“The Bureau saw me in the security cameras and figured out that Tobias is remembering everything again. They took his four children because they’re what the Bureau need to show genetic enhancement. They also took the children because they knew it would hurt him, to teach him a lesson.”

“What will they do to my kids? Baxter is only five months old for crying out loud.”

“I don’t know, but we’re going to get them back.”

Uriah looks dubious.

“How will we do that? Didn’t you say the Bureau also has everyone under a simulation serum? If we do anything, they’ll put the whole city upon us.”

“We need to recruit others. Tori, Will, Cara, Shauna, Johanna, and any remaining Allegiant. If they were brave enough to fight for justice before, we have to hope they’re still brave enough to fight now, even if they are different people. This won’t be easy, but we can do it.”

Zeke shakes his head at Tris with incredulity.

“And by ‘it’ you mean take down the entire city?”

Tobias shares a look with Tris and grins smugly at his best friend.

“Sure. We’ve done it once before.”

Tris slips her hand in his, their fingers interlacing naturally. Uriah nudges his younger brother with his shoulder and Zeke finally concedes, officially standing with them on this crazy revolution. It’s funny to think that Zeke still ended up Tobias’s best friend the second time around. It makes it just that much more likely that things aren’t so different after all, this time around.

Outside the window, the sun is just beginning to rise. A war is brewing. History destined to repeat itself.

Tobias supposes he always knew that this story wouldn’t end without one last bang.


End file.
